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How
to Be a Good Guest at Thanksgiving (or any other time!)
by Susan Dunn
 Here
are some ways to use your Ps and Qs to be a good guests.
When you get an invitation, R.S.V.P. That means let the person know whether
or not you're coming. With email and answering machines now, there's really
no excuse not to.
Arrive 10-15 minutes after the invitation time (but no later). This gives
your host and/or hostess those last few minutes to prepare.
Check and see if children are invited; don't just bring your kids. If they
aren't, don't bring yours. Nor should you expect your host and hostess to
solve the babysitter dilemma for you.
Don't arrive empty-handed. Bring along a nice little gift with you -- a
bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, a packet of printed cocktail napkins,
a little inspirational book ...
Once you're there, offer to help in the kitchen and offer to help with the
dishes. You may be told "no," but at least you asked.
My Dad used to tell me "Don't be a bump on a log!" Well, this applies to
being a good guest. Participate! It's up to you to make it a party. Talk to
someone who's alone, mix and mingle, make good conversation, make it a point
to talk with everyone there at some point, do your part.
Don't overstay your welcome, no matter how much you’re enjoying yourself.
Why? You had a nap, got your nails done, watched the football game. They've
been cooking and cleaning for days. Use your intuition. You may've been told
2-5, or just "come around 8", but your host and/or hostess will give off
nonverbal signals when it's time for you to go home. They yawn, suddenly get
up, start fidgeting and twisting, start lagging in conversation or going
around straightening up, even doing dishes! Get a clue!
Pitch in in an unobtrusive way. Empty some ash trays, clear off the coffee
table of used dishes, whisk your hosts' kid off to the bathroom, pass around
a plate of hot hors d'oeuvres.
Say good-bye. Even if it's a large gathering, seek out the host and/or
hostess and tell them good bye, and thank them!
Send a written thank-you note afterwards. It's just a nice thing to do.
Being a good guests means making a positive contribution to the gathering.
And, oh yes, don't forget to have fun, because that's catching and everyone
will appreciate it.
Susan Dunn
is a personal and professional life coach who helps clients with careers and
transitions. Visit her on the web at www.susandunn.cc and
mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. It's about your personal and
professional development!
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