My Confession

Ok, here it goes. Forgive me all of you, for I have sinned, it’s been 1 week since my last confession.

My sin this week is that I planned intentionally with my husband to stay home from Mass at church this last week to watch the Pope celebrate the Holy Mass this on television with our children.

I did find out that this was really sin, from a priest commentator on the channel that was covering the Mass on Sunday that Pope Benedict celebrated. Apparently, there was either an email or a caller that asked this question. So, yep, I am going to have to confess this and getting absolution for it is not going to be easy. I am not sorry for it. I feel guilty, but not sorry. I loved being able to watch Pope Benedict and 'celebrate' Mass via television with him.

My family and I gathered in the living room as if we were in church. We did not sit there like mindless drones; we participated as if we were right there in front of the Holy Father celebrating Mass with him. We stood, sat, kneeled, prayed and said the responses as if we were there with him. We were quiet as if we were in an physical church. It’s hard to even put into words how emotional we were. It was wonderful, for all of us.

Knowing that The Holy Father would be giving the sign of the Blessing, more than one time, we brought out our countless Rosaries, holy statutes and our bibles. Our children thought of that. They now feel our holy items have been Blessed by The Holy Father via television, and we are going to let them continue with that belief. After all, being Catholic is 100% Belief anyway. Right?

After having traveled across the US with my children before, there is no way I am foolish enough to consider taking them to a foreign country, much less Rome to see Pope Benedict. I had the urge to leave them at rest stops and gas stations on more than one occasion, leaving them in an Italian airport would be way too tempting. My children are not good travelers and actually prefer to stay at home when the talk of long distance trips are brought up.

Due to the age of Pope Benedict and the young ages of 2 of my children, the chances of us getting to celebrate a Mass with him in Rome are slim and none. He may surprise us and God may be gracious and let this happen, but Scott and I did not want to take the chance of missing of what we consider a possible once in a lifetime event for us or our children.

Everyone loves our departed Pope John Paul II, but Pope Benedict is just as remarkable, in our humble opinion. Our entire family adores him. My youngest two children would be the ones to scare the security by running up to hug The Holy Father, they think he looks like the perfect grandfather. I have to agree. He does have the look of the perfect loving grandfather. My 16 year old is of the opinion that Pope Benedict ‘rocks’ because he says what he thinks and means what he says. Don’t misunderstand, she cried when John Paul died. It hit her the worse because he died on her birthdate, and she says she cannot forget that fact. For V, it adds a touch sadness to her birthday.

Our Pope Benedict reminds my husband and I of our grandparents, who lived in the same era. Both of us had grandfathers that remind us of The Holy Father. They had a different code of standards and honor that generations of today cannot fathom. My family and I love these 2 popes because of the stuff of which they were made of.

At the end of the Mass, watching The Holy Father move through the crowds, you could see that he wished to reach out and touch each and every one of the people that were trying to so hard to get to him. You could see it in his eyes and his body language. He longed to bless and talk to thousands there. I saw him trying to ignore the security at every chance he got, to step in just a little bit deeper, reaching into the throngs of people reaching to him.

I have not seen a greater exchange of love since last public outing of Pope John Paul II. To see a man with as much power and influence as Pope Benedict showing his love for all of us, his children, brought tears to my eyes. What I wouldn’t have given to have been there that Sunday!

I do know already what I will get for my willingly committed sin; probably a few Hail Mary’s, some Psalms, a couple of Our Fathers and maybe more. But it will be worth it. I will do my penance willingly, reverently and lovingly. Due to the magic of television, my family and I got to experience The Celebration of the Mass with Pope Benedict here in America. Thanks be to God!

Alleluia! Alleluia!

Pax to you all,
Lori

 

Lori Callaway is married to her best friend Scott and mother of 3 children, all of whom are her inspiration and fodder for her freelance writing. Her hobbies are knitting (as a lefty), rosary making, sewing, cross stitching, crafts and ¾ to full time genealogist and history nut. She currently lives in one of the giant metro areas the Pacific Northwest of the US after having grown up in American’s idea of a perfect mid-western small town. Lori is also an RCIC teacher.