|Celebrating Catholic Motherhood|
Catholic Kids *
Sally Edwards has written two wonderful books for parents!
You Know Your Kids Are Driving You Crazy When...You love your children but are you aware that their antics get you crazy and drive you to bizarre behaviors? Sally Edwards, standup comedian and mother of three, hits home as she makes us laugh at the insanity inherent in the child-rearing process. Hilariously illustrated in color by the artistic wizardry of Robert M. Henry.
Know You're A Sexy Senior When...
Anecdotes from Sally:
Catholic Mom Humor with
Sally Edwards, Family Lunacy
How Did Everyone I Gave Birth to Get So Smart?!?
I went to an all girl Catholic boarding school. My parents saved their money to give me a wonderful education. I have two wonderful careers (piano teacher and comedian) and I feel like I've accomplished many admirable goals. But wait a minute somewhere along the way something miraculous happened. I got married and gave birth to three little babies who grew up to be smarter (and taller) than me. How could this happen! I arrived on the planet first!
I'm looking at my two teenage boys sitting on the sofa as they watch reruns of "The Daily Show". At ages 14 and 15, respectively, they are both gaining height as rapidly as I gain width from mid-life bulge. . Steven is a natural talker, a natural laugher, a definite people person. Brendan at 15, is so highly intelligent that his innocent questions in the car at age five brought all conversation to a halt. "Mom, why do people say "one egg" but "zero eggs? " "Mom, what matter do you think black holes are made of?" He followed through in life by getting a 98% on his PSATs. Next year he is attending the University of Chicago and he is majoring in Physics.
"Earth to Mom!" My 13 year old daughter, Christine walks towards my desk in the family room and is radioing in. "Mom, what are you thinking about?"
"I was thinking about those earthlings over there that I gave birth to. How'd did they get bigger than me and smarter than me? When I met them they were only 23 inches long. None of this makes sense. I've been on the planet longer. I should know more stuff and be able to do more stuff.""
"Mom, can I have a trampoline? The Burkes just got one." Images of bounding children in neck braces crossed my mind. "No. I can't take the chance that someone will get hurt in our backyard." "But the Burkes got one!" "Christine, that's because the Burkes have five kids and its cheaper than a babysitter. If two of them break their leg, they score an advantage of less mobility in the house."
"Can I get a tattoo?" I gasped for breath. "A tattoo!" Christine answered me with conviction, "Yes. I'd like a tattoo of a little yellow rose right above my rear. I think it will look pretty with my bathing suit this summer." I shook my head "No" but I knew Christine was not convinced. I realize that what young girls don't understand is that with time and gravity that little yellow rose will grow into a giant sunflower. "But mom, tattoos are cool!"
Uh, oh – did she say "cool"? I reeled from yet another revelation. My children are bigger, smarter and COOLER than me. As I gaze back toward Jon Stewart as he wraps up another segment of irreverent political humor – the realization of all the joy of motherhood was clear. I had given birth to higher life forms! I'd given birth to three beautiful children who had become bigger, smarter and cooler than me. For this great gift, I am awestruck and forever thankful. In my prayers, I say, "Thank you God for giving me a little taste of your creation!"
Anecdotes from Sally:
One morning five year old Christine woke up and she didn't feel so good. Later in the day she started to feel better. She said, "You know this morning I felt like an old rag ... and now I feel like a new rag!"
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