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The Mother is the Heart of the Domestic Church
by Donna–Marie Cooper O’Boyle

            “The family should be your place of encounter with God.”  Our Holy Father, Pope John Paul II told us.  As mothers, we need to realize that this is indeed true.  We meet God each day in the smiles and in the tears of our children.  He is there in our laundry rooms as we work hard, keeping things clean and in order for our families.  He is present during our intimate dinner conversations, during our disagreements and also in the quiet of the home.  He is deep down in the hearts of our families.

            Our homes are our domestic Churches.  We must strive to find God there.  We must come to be satisfied with our work in the home, acknowledging the fact that it is far more important than what we can achieve outside its doors.  We have come to realize that we have actually assisted our Lord in creating human life!  Our children should be able to count on our presence to them, as well as our dedication and unconditional love for them.  Let us pray that there will be peace in our hearts, knowing that our Lord is pleased with our selfless acts of loving service to our family.

A mother finds that it is essential to transform her life into a prayer.

            The vocation of motherhood calls for flexibility, patience, creativity and the giving of oneself.  A mother’s role is a self-sacrificing one.  She puts her interests and desires on hold the moment she finds that a new soul has been conceived within her.  Her offspring’s desires become her desires.  She becomes very naturally and lovingly involved in every aspect of her child’s development. Her heart expands with each new precious life entrusted to her.  The motherly seeds of love that God has sown within her being begin to spring forth and blossom, as she nurtures her children tenderly and selflessly.  She realizes her purpose in this world and embraces even the suffering that she must endure bringing each new soul forth to see the light of day.

           We, as mothers, have within us the power to either create a happy, loving home where our family can retreat from the world or one that is full of discord and unhappiness.  It is so true that we are the heart of the home.  When we are not fully present to our families, there is usually chaos in one form or another.  Our children can become or feel lost, lonely, confused, or misdirected and may even feel unloved.  It is important to be present to our children. If we are not, at the moment, then we should make every effort to make changes necessary to be there for them.  We should avoid, whenever possible, having our children coming home to an empty house without us there to welcome them.

            Yes, our world is merciless and the bills pile up as we struggle to meet our financial obligations.  But, we should strive to not be so quick to acquire so much or feel compelled to keep up with the pace of today’s world, in the material sense.  Designer clothes, huge houses, and fancy cars are not necessary for survival and will be left at our graves.  College educations and new cars for each child may not always be possible.  But, our Lord is surely pleased that we have allowed each of those precious, individual souls to come into being by our “yes” to new life, even during difficult circumstances.  With our love, help, and guidance, they will work out their salvation and by God’s grace, their eternity with Him.  Our Lord does not look at labels and is not concerned about whether they will be clad in Abercrombie and Fitch and Nike’s, or burlap and bare feet, rather He wants each one to come to Him.  He says, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the Kingdom of God belongs…”

            Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, who was a mother, has said that we should “meet with joy every contradiction.”  Mothers should take these words to heart.  As mothers, we meet many contradictions, even in the course of our day, whether it is in the sometimes hectic pace in the family or in the fact that some may resent us because of the love we shower upon our families.  Some mothers who are not in any financial need may have struggled with the temptations to pursue a career outside the home, knowing that their place is really with their children, but find it boring or unsatisfying to them.   They may be jealous of our firm dedication to our families in our presence to them.  We should strive to be joyful throughout the all of the contradictions and difficulties, allowing Christ’s light and love to shine through us so that we can help lead the way for others who may be struggling along and may not have the grace of prayer in their lives.

            Elizabeth Seton also said, “Without prayer, I shall be of little service.”  We see that we have to develop a prayer life for survival because we know all too well that there are times when we may feel burned out, overworked, or ready for a “breakdown.”

            The work in the home does not typically receive recognition or compliments. We may not receive thanks, but we don’t expect it either.   Without a prayer life, we might actually forget what we are all about, what our purpose is here within our families. Housework can seen pretty humdrum or monotonous, at times.  We can never seem to catch up.  It is never really complete.  But, when we look into the sweet eyes of our precious children and we will be reminded of our purpose. 

            Our prayer life provides the strength and grace that is so necessary for the survival for a healthy and happy family.  A mother finds that it is essential to transform her life into a prayer.  She knows that she cannot spend her day on her knees in prayer, but finds that she can lift up her mind and heart to God often, asking, pleading, thanking, and praising Him.  She teaches her babies from a young age how necessary prayer is, to pray often, never forcing them, but lovingly setting an example.  It then, becomes as natural to them as breathing.  At the end of a long and tiring day, we can find ourselves on our weary knees, thanking the Lord for His grace, asking for forgiveness for our shortcomings, and promising to do a better job tomorrow.

            We edify others in doing for our children what we do for them each day, very naturally.  An example is set.  Hopefully it will help to make some sort of impact that will bring things into their proper order and place and bring back the dignity and high esteem that the vocation of motherhood deserves.

            Being at peace with our vocation of motherhood shows on our faces and throughout our actions, in the form of joy, and, joy is contagious and makes for a happy family.

© 2006 Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle

5/03/06

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