Deacon Tom Fox

THE RESURRECTION and RESURRECTING YOUR MARRIAGE

Dear moms – hello and sincere blessings and wishes for you for the remainder of Lent and into the beautiful season of the Resurrection of Christ. It is my hope – my hope and prayer that you are celebrating a new resurrection of the Lord, a new resurrection of your faith, and a new resurrection of your marital love and family.

Speaking of a resurrection, my dear wife, Dee & I returned not too long ago from a babysitting visit to Springfield, Missouri. We have three ‘grands’ there – Brody, age 13 and Holden almost 5, and Karlynn 3. I could write a lengthy column on that time back there – but the ‘short’ of it is that a horrendous ice storm hit while we were there. We lost power twice – and in one of the outages, I had to start a fire in the fireplace. For supper, we cooked hot dogs over the fire – and toasted marshmallows for dessert. The kids thought it was a BALL! Here we were with extra layers of clothes on… me running outside to continually get more firewood… ice clinging to every tree and blade of grass… our miniature Schnauzer Holly (who is the second princess that I regularly live with) – she, of course didn’t want to go outside at all to do her ‘business.’ Ask me if we were dog-tired (no pun) when we finally finished and left Missouri.

But guess what? It was like a ‘resurrection’ of the old days in our marriage. We’re still on a marriage high because of it. Not that we have been having any big troubles. But it takes something like shared and important experiences to discover a truth.

At times, we have been, (and like many of you?) living our life… our marriage on autopilot. And what a blessing – what a shot in the arm to come back to the tender love and the feeling of ‘joint mission’ that we used to have early on in our union.

Let me share a different, tender story with you that is another form of marriage resurrection. In 2001, when we were deacon candidates back in Colorado, our wives and we men were on a couples’ retreat. A good friend… now known as Deacon Joe G. from Arvada, CO – Joe was assigned to do a short homily on the first night of the retreat. (This was one of the ways that gave us practice for eventually preaching during liturgies.) I wish you knew Joe. He’s a general contractor – a nice, busy and young husband and father. During his homily, he did something so profound that it remains with me even now.

Joe created his sermon on the topic about Christ being a partner in our marriages – and Christ being present IN OUR PARTNERS. Joe surprised his wife Julie by calling her to come forward and to stand in front of him. You know what Joe did? He said to Julie – “I now understand – I see CHRIST IN YOU – and I honor you as a tabernacle for Him. And Joe genuflected to his wife. Gosh– did he get it! He was so far ahead of most of us when he did that. How about you men, would you genuflect to your wife? Or you women, would you genuflect to your husband?

I tell you these two experiences because I’ve been working with my friend Lisa Hendey – Catholic Mom extraordinaire – and fast-rising star of the Internet with her Catholic Moments Podcast. We’ve been having email discussions about how we (she and I) could collaborate a little and work to help bring freshness back into our marriages.

Marriage is the heart of the family and of all civilization. And so it is most important that we work to ‘grow’ love in our marriages, and to make sure that God is recognized as an active partner. We know God is love… and God is found in the Trinity  -- a loving relationship of ‘Three.’ Therefore, our marriages are to be icons of the inner life of the Trinity. God intends for our marriages to be life giving – and completely self-giving. To have the utmost respect for the dignity (of Christ) in our partners. I don’t need to tell you how much marriage is under assault by the media and in our society.

In a ‘resurrected marriage,’ the other person becomes seen as a heavenly gift – a part of God’s plan for us. And, like my friend Deacon Joe, to invite Jesus into the relationship means that we recognize God’s presence in our spouse… and our marriage becomes Eucharistic. Jesus said, “Abide in my love… love one another as I have loved you.”

Is that love of Jesus a part of your married life? If it isn’t – I am here to tell you that it can be…. Marriages can be repaired… restored… made more vibrant.

I am here to testify to the power of Christ as an agent of transformation for marriages… not perfection mind you – but a new, life-giving resurrection and transformation.

Blessings, moms. I am in prayer for you.

Deacon Tom.
www.deacontomonline.com

Tom Fox was ordained a Deacon in the Archdiocese of Denver. He currently lives and serves in a small, but growing mountain community in northern Arizona. Tom has received many requests for copies of his Sunday homilies and his shorter Communion Service Reflections. He is an experiential preacher who uses life and stories to share a message of today for Catholics and other Christians Many of his sermons are found on the internet – and a collection of them are found on his website: www.deacontomonline.com. Tom would love to hear from you and will try to answer any questions or sharing that you send in.