The Quiet in Your Day

Are you a busy mother? I know it's a silly question.

One of the most difficult things I find about motherhood is finding time during the course of my day for some “quiet time”. I don't just mean for naps, but true quiet and peace that helps to render our minds and listen to our own needs and ourselves. 

Many of women struggle with this and do not know where to turn for that quietude that they long for, even just for a few minutes a day.  I'm sure there are some like myself who have had lock yourselves in the bathroom just to be alone! In all seriousness though, unless you have unlimited babysitting, there are rare times for just mom to be by herself. If you are also a home educating mother one must realize that the sacrifices we have made do not really allow for extensive alone time so snatches and pieces of solitude need to be maximized to their fullest.

I don't have any pat answers and this will differ for so many of us, but here are some ideas that may be useful to some.

Injections of Prayer:  For me as a Catholic, it is natural for me to want to turn to prayer for my solitude. I love being able to read prayer or meditative-type books.  When I say the rosary, read the lives of the Saints I truly immerse myself into a spiritual peacefulness.  I also enjoy receiving email Novenas and Marian devotions that are a helpful and wonderfully anticipated part of my day. Usually I can find some contentment or a sense of peace during prayer times, but often times it is not during the quiet that I long for. This goes without saying that as our family has grown (thankfully) it has also gotten noisier and family rosary is not always a quiet affair. 

Tip:  Have a little basket near a favorite chair or on your bedside table with just a few of your favorite prayer cards, spiritual books or a life of a saint.  If you can light a candle during your time for a spiritual injection it can help to bring a sense of calm to your day, even if it’s only 5-10 minutes.

Infusions of Music:  Listening to quiet (classical or religious) music is a way for me to slow down and find a source of relaxation, but this is also not a silent time.  It may be helpful or necessary to invest in a portable audio player to listen to cassette tapes or compact discs.  I enjoy doing handcrafts (mostly knitting or embroidery) while listening to quiet meditative music or chants.  I am also benefiting from online music sources that can be played from my laptop computer which is a nice bonus.

Tip:  Institute a 2-5 minute “listening” game where everyone has to be “silent” for the time that they listen to a musical piece.  The younger your children are, the harder this may be, but even the toddler will enjoy this “game” each week.

Saturation of Books:  I am a big fan of mom’s library day!  This has been one of the boons to my sanity as a home educating mother.  It works well if dad can take the kids on a bike ride or to the park, or special age appropriate outing, then mom can enjoy the mostly quiet of the library.  I like to see this kind of an outing as two-fold; 1) I get to do some independent reading, research, and planning if I’m looking at a new school year ahead, and 2) it gives me an opportunity to browse books in sections of the library I may not be able to access with noisy little people coming along for the ride.  (Of course this can be a lovely outing for a mommy with a new baby tucked into a baby sling and nursing or sleeping peacefully and mom browsing to her hearts content)!  The concept here is just generally being somewhere by yourself and differs greatly from the usual mom/kids library visit (which is a different kind of enjoyment altogether).  To come home with a delightfully filled library basket with mommy desired books gives one a nice sense of atonement for otherwise busy library outings.

Tip:  Always grab a book that you wouldn’t normally choose just for variety and personal growth.  I find I like to do this with non-fiction type books, but anything goes here.

Indulgence in Bubbles:  I am referring here to the proverbial “Bubble Bath.”  Sometimes, there is nothing more comforting and quiet than a nice, hot bubbly bath.  If you can manage it at the end of your day when everyone has been put to bed and all is quiet in the house, all the better.  I find this to be one of my most favorite and “coveted” forms of quietude.  Hot water can inevitably wash away our tensions of the day and help us to sleep better at night.  Seems when all else fails, I hit the tub!

Tip:  Save specialty soaps from your travels for these bubbly indulgences, they will seem more special and you can slip into the feeling of being “away from it all”, even if it is just for a few minutes one night each week.

Whatever you choose, I do think it's important and relevant to try and carve out a piece of the pie for yourself. And it may come at times when you least expect it. I do often pine for a nap, and then on days when I least feel I need one, the occasion will arise for one and I feel so refreshed.  It’s like being given a little gift, just for me!! 

Lastly, always invite the Blessed Mother and her Son into your times of quiet.  Invoking Our Heavenly Mother and her beloved Son will help to make your experience more meaningful and relevant.  By being thoughtful and prayerful in asking their presence into your quietude will surely add to your peace of mind.  I hope you will give yourself at least one of these gifts each week; I think you’ll come to appreciate the special Quiet in your Day!