Brainstorming Thoughts on Homeschooling
by Jackie Zimmerer

In this section, I’ve tried to address the most pressing topics I was concerned about both before and after we started educating our boys at home in 2000.

1. I can’t homeschool:  MY kids drive me crazy.

Sometimes my kids make me nuts.  That was true both before and after our decision to homeschool. 

The hardest part of that statement happened the day I finally figured out the reason they drive me so crazy!  As I’ve spent more time with them.  I’ve come to realize they bother me so much because they are a mirror into my soul. 

Yup.  Without exception, everything they do that annoys me the most has to do with a trait I dislike about myself.  That has been one of the most difficult lessons for me to learn, especially since a wise priest once told me that if I am to change my kids, I must first change myself.

     And I thought it was my kids who were supposed to be learning!

2. My husband (or wife) and I can’t agree on whether or not to homeschool.

Agreement between spouses is necessary for homeschooling to be successful in most cases.  That doesn’t mean that you have to be in exact agreement, but if parents aren’t in harmony, your kids WILL use that as a wedge between you.

3.     But I don’t have the patience to teach my kids.

Neither did most of the parents I know who homeschool, but, believe it or not, most of us gained what we need via trial and error.  Besides, the real gist of this particular argument with myself ended up being mired in my own selfishness.  It was really just an excuse. 

But after Adam’s assault, I realized that I love my kids so much that I was willing to do anything to keep them safe…including dying to my own selfishness long enough to learn to educate them.

     It’s a misnomer to say that children are actually “taught” in school anyway.  What really happens in anyone’s education is that somewhere along the way someone managed to figure out how to convince your kid that s/he wanted to “learn.”

4. I’m not disciplined enough.

For me, this was another excuse, the purpose being to allow myself to remain undisciplined.  But as the first year of educating my children at home passed, I came to grasp that my life ran better when I was in control of myself.  Slowly, surely, I came to an interior place where I WANTED things neat, orderly, structured and scheduled.

5. What about socialization?

This is a myth.  There are so many extracurricular activities out there for homeschooled students that many parents find themselves having to call a halt to the bus service!  But the best kept secret of those who educate at home is the socialization that their kids miss: the negative peer pressure that goes on in same-age classes. 

6. How can I teach my kids? I don’t have a degree!  I’m just a Mom (or just a Dad).

Hogwash.  I believe that the “just a parent” mindset is a deliberate socialization technique that has been bounced around to convince parents that they aren’t adequately equipped to oversee their children’s education.  I don’t know who thought this up but I believe that it’s a crock. 

It doesn’t take a degree to teach our own children, it just takes enough heart-felt desire to WANT to do it bad enough. 

Scripturally, the Lord ordained it a parent’s duty to educate their children.  When I thought about it, that isn’t rocket science.  It was my responsibility to teach my kids to walk, talk and eat.  I helped as my little ones learned to go pottie and put their shoes on the right feet.  That’s teaching!  Why shouldn’t I teach them other things?  Sure some of it may be a stretch, but I believe that the Lord will put the necessary information at my fingertips when it’s needed.

What I’m trying to say not to worry so much. There is a whole world of information out there that just requires an internet connection to access…and if that’s not on the home budget, the same can be found on a computer at the public library.

7.     But I don’t understand math (or science, English, Geography…)

That’s okay.  There is a treasure trove of curriculum out there, including video tutors and the ultimate parental educational tool:  solutions manuals! Where there is a will, there’s a way!

8.     Can I homeschool and work full time?

It has been my experience that I need to be at home when my kids are doing school.  For a time I worked one day a week at a local office but it didn’t work very well.  By that I mean that the boys did their assigned work…sometimes…but it wasn’t of the quality that I expected.  They also tended to “forget.”  While they were fairly responsible it wasn’t a good situation over the long haul.

The gist is that working while the kids are at home doing school usually ends up being little different from when we were in school and the teacher left the room!

     I quit that part time job in early 2002 after putting our financial future in God’s capable hands.  From time to time, a reason arises where I need to be absent during our morning school hours but I try to keep those days to a minimum.

9.     What if I don’t like homeschooling?

Some of the best advice I was given early on was to put homeschooling on commitment status.  I was either going to homeschool or I wasn’t.  Period.  In short, once I started, quitting was not an option during the current school year.  I was also advised never to discuss my frustrations in front of the kids, use “going back to school” as a threat, a promise or a behavior modification technique. 

Now that doesn’t mean things don’t happen that require putting kids back in school, but the main thing I was advised was to remember that my children are not ping-pong balls to be bounced around according to my whims and wishes. If I wanted to put them back in school, I should do it at the beginning of a school year.

10. How do I find a curriculum?

Contact your local homeschool association, ask someone at Church or do research on the internet.  But remember, this decision can make you crazy.  Depending on the child, it might be advantageous to purchase what they were using in their previous school…but it’s also very freeing to just dive in, order a few things, then come up for air later.  There are also book fairs, talks and networking.  Just remember, your children will not be permanently marred if the first (or second or third, for that matter) curriculum you find doesn’t work.

11. What if I don’t like the curriculum I bought?

Usually my answer would be that if you don’t like a curriculum after giving it a solid try, then by all means find something else. But use discretion with that bit of freedom, please.  Before you change, ask yourself a few questions.  What is the problem with what you are using?  Is the work too difficult?  Too easy?  Too much or too little repetition? 

Perhaps the most difficult part of this decision has to do with your own emotions for changing.  Will your child will be better off or is the change for your benefit?  Could some modification of their work solve the problem? This is especially important if you are working with a child who has previously been in a structured classroom.

But sometimes chucking the stuff is the best answer for all.  In fact one of Joshua’s most vivid remembrances of homeschooling is the day in the sixth grade when we threw the $60 science curriculum in the trash after giving it a four-month trial.  The particular book was significantly over the grade level for which it was sold and outright boring.  It wasn’t even worth trying to sell it at one of our used book fairs.

12. What about high school?

While not a piece of cake no matter WHERE your child is educated, the high school years can be wonderful for home educators.  How you make it through these difficult/wonderful/challenging years depends as much your attitude as it does on your child!  Now I know that’s not what you wanted to hear but it’s God’s honest truth.

     As far as curriculum goes, I’ve heard lots of arguments bantered around about the lack of biology and chemistry labs but that too can be handled with a bit of creativity.  There are several science web sites who sell/rent the stuff to use in labs.  Perhaps there is another homeschool parent who is proficient enough in the sciences to teach a coop course.

     Besides, the first thing our oldest son was told when he got to his college labs was to forget everything they learned in High School…the lab instructor intended that the class do only what they were told in the current class.

13. My child has a learning disability!

I wasn’t an expert on learning disabilities when we first started homescholing…but After my then 10-year-old son managed to convince the “Experts” that he was working at grade level when he was actually about a year and a half behind, I don’t feel bad about that anymore.  It took me four months to figure out how he conned the whole team of “specialists.”  A bit of research on the Internet and to date, we’re doing fine.

The hardest part of this has been helping him to overcome the “stupid kids class” he labeled himself with.

Some helpful hints for your consideration:

·          Do an Internet search for specific rules on homeschooling in your state before pulling your kids out of public school.  Be polite yet firm with the officials when you finally make the move, and remember, you only have to follow the rules your state specifies.  If you get hassled, contact your states’ homeschool legal defense group.

·          If your kids have been in public school, they may need a time of decompression (some call it unschooling) particularly if they had a bad experience. 

·          It takes about a year to figure out homeschooling.  Be patient not only with your children but with yourself during that time.  I wasn’t a particularly brave soul at the time and it took a while to get comfortable with the fact that the buck now stopped with me.  It takes time…but it’s worth it.

·          Find a way to balance control, discipline and the freedom to become the individual your child has the potential to become with the curriculum you choose.

·          Trust your instincts.

·          Don’t tackle too much at one time.             

·          Be consistent.

·          Don’t be afraid to fail…sometimes even bad homeschooling is better than the alternative

·          Don’t be afraid to throw something out if it’s been given a trial and didn’t’ work… but don’t use your kids as guinea pigs.

·          Be creative:  teach basic electricity with legos, old Christmas lights and a 9 volt battery.  Use models the kids have to put together, crafts to teach science.  And remember to indulge them in their interests.

·          Don’t let the shoulda/woulda/couldas get you down.

·          Consider co-oping classes that are difficult for you to teach.  There are probably parents out there who would be more than happy to trade teaching time with you.

·          Perhaps the most important:  seek a support group, even if you don’t participate in their activities. There’s strength in numbers and sometimes all it takes to diffuse a difficult situation is another adult who understands what you are doing.

A few web sites: 

Favorite Resources for Catholic Homeschoolers    http://www.love2learn.net

Traditions of Roman Catholic Homes  http://www.catholic-homeschool.com/

Catholic Scholars Online http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/6823/mercy.html

Catholic Heritage Curriculum  http://www.chcweb.com/

Catholic home Study Network of America  http://www.chsna.org/

Additional Homeschooling Resources