Thanksgiving with”Family”

           I bought a 19 ½ pound turkey yesterday.  We have a pretty big family when you include aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc.  But that’s not why I bought this turkey.  As a matter of fact, none of those people will have a single bite of this particular bird.  No, this bird is going to feed a different type of family…one that is equally as important to me.  I will be sharing this turkey with two other families in my neighborhood as we celebrate Thanksgiving far away from our extended families.  We are a Catholic family.  And we are a military family.

            There is something especially bittersweet about being a military family during this time of year.  The “bitter” is obvious.  We are many miles away from families whom we have not seen in months or even years.  We live in homes that we know are temporary…often in areas we would not choose. (I never would have imagined myself living in a place called “North Pole, Alaska!”)   Our children base their holiday memories on where we were stationed at the time, and often the house in which we spend one Thanksgiving is a distant memory by the time the holiday rolls around again.  And we live with knowledge that even though our soldier may be with us this year, he may be gone for the next holiday. Because of this very real possibility, we choose to embrace the “sweet.”
 
            The sweet things include the multitudes of friends and acquaintances we make over the years.  They include the vast cultural experiences we get to have. (Three years ago, my children and I spent Thanksgiving Day in Prague eating pastries and drinking hot chocolate outside of St. Nicholas’ Cathedral and visiting King Wenceslas Square.)  They include the different traditions we learn and incorporate into our own families.  And, most especially, they include the gratitude with which we approach each holiday spent together. 

            And so this Thanksgiving, my children and I will wake up, watch the Macy’s Parade in our fleece pajamas, and put the enormous Butterball in the oven before heading to Mass.  Then we will come home to a house filled with the familiar aroma of turkey roasting to a golden brown.  We will gather up the food we have prepared and walk (maybe drive because of the turkey) around the corner to the welcoming home of our neighbors.  The kids may spend an hour or so on the “sled hill” before we call them in to eat.  And we will sit down to the type of feast that only comes once a year.  If the turkey is dry, we will still give thanks.  If the marshmallows burn and fill the house with smoke, we will still give thanks.  And if the children misbehave and argue at the table, we will still give thanks. We will give thanks that God has provided us with another year and with the freedom to gather and celebrate in His name.

     Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my husband will not be joining us.  He will be eating his second Thanksgiving dinner in Iraq in under 4 years.  While the neighbors, the kids, and I are gobbling down herbed stuffing (everyone fights over the “in the bird” stuffing), candied cranberries, and sweet potato casserole covered with miniature marshmallows (Is that REALLY a vegetable?), he will be enjoying an MRE “Meal-Ready to Eat” that, if he is lucky, will contain a recognizable source of protein, enough carbohydrates to fuel a small village, and some type of overly sweet dessert. 

            Actually, my husband is at a base where there is a good mess hall.  He probably won’t have to eat an MRE as many of our deployed soldiers will.  He will have a hot meal.  But it will be served on a cafeteria tray instead of his G.G.’s china.  He will have people to eat with.  But most of them will call him “Sir” instead of “Daddy” or “Craig.”  He will be wearing his ACU’s  (Army Combat Uniform), having just come out of a planning meeting or back from a mission instead of his charcoal pinstriped suit that he would wear to Thanksgiving Mass at St. John’s Cathedral.  And yet, if I know my husband (and I think I do after 13 years of marriage), he will bow his head in sincere gratitude for his soldiers, their families, our freedom, and for us, his family.  He will make the sign of the cross in the middle of the mess hall where many soldiers will stare.  But maybe he will inspire them to give thanks even in the midst of their sacrifice.

            Army life is not for the faint of heart.  But there is much for which to be thankful.  It is on these things that I choose to dwell this Thanksgiving.  And I pray that next Thanksgiving we will dine together and perhaps invite over another military family whose soldier is deployed.

Sadie McCurry
19 Nov., 2007

P. S.  If you would like to help deployed military members and their families over the holidays, there are a number of resources available.  The following excerpt is from http://www.military.com/Resources/ResourceFileView?file=Holiday_Help.htm

What can you do to show support for servicemembers, especially those serving overseas? Below are Websites for several organizations that are sponsoring programs for members of the Armed Forces overseas. Servicemembers do value and appreciate any expressions of support you can send them.

Donate a calling card to help keep servicemembers in touch with their families at Operation Uplink at http://www.operationuplink.org/

Send a greeting via e-mail through Operation Dear Abby at http://anyservicemember.navy.mil/ or http://www.OperationDearAbby.net

Sign a virtual thank you card at the Defend America Web site at http://www.defendamerica.mil/nmam.html

Send messages to soldiers through the new forum "Messages for Soldiers" at http://www.mfsusa.org/main.html

Make a donation to one of the military relief societies:

Army Emergency Relief at http://www.aerhq.org/

Navy/Marine Relief Society at http://www.nmcrs.org/

Air Force Aid Society at http://www.afas.org/

Coast Guard Mutual Assistance at http://www.cgmahq.org/

Donate to "Operation USO Care Package" at http://www.usometrodc.org/care.html

Support the American Red Cross Armed Forces Emergency Services at http://www.redcross.org/services/afes/

Donate Blood to the Armed Services Blood Program; for more information, visit http://www.tricare.osd.mil/asbpo/

Volunteer at a VA Hospital to honor veterans who bore the lamp of freedom in past conflicts. Find the VA health facility nearest you.

Support families whose loved ones are being treated at military and VA hospitals through a donation to the Fisher House at http://www.fisherhouse.org.

Reach out to military families in your community, especially those with a loved one overseas.

Please do not flood the military mail system with letters, cards, and gifts. Due to security concerns and transportation constraints, the Department of Defense cannot accept items to be mailed to "Any Servicemember." Some people have tried to avoid this prohibition by sending large numbers of packages to an individual servicemember's address, which however well intentioned, clogs the mail and causes unneccessary delays.

The support and generosity of the American people has touched the lives of many servicemembers, over 300,000 of whom are deployed overseas.

 

Sadie McCurry is a Catholic military wife and mother of four.  She and her husband have been married for 13 years and have twin 10-year-old girls, a 7-year-old boy and a 4-month-old boy.  They are currently stationed at Ft. Wainwright, Alaska, near Fairbanks.  Sadie has her bachelor’s degree in Health Education with a Certificate in Nutrition.