Sergeant Murphy
Most of you are familiar with Murphy’s Law. This is the law that states “If anything can go wrong, it will.” This should be tattooed across every military spouse’s forehead. Of course, one would have to add the clause “…especially during a deployment.” For some reason, it seems that Mr. “Murphy” (or maybe in this case it is Sergeant Murphy) has his own “Special Ops” forces that are able to detect a spouse’s stress when her soldier is deployed. It is then that these covert forces sneak in and ambush even the most steadfast spouse. I have been the victim of such attacks on numerous occasions. With great humility, I will share a few of them with you over the next few weeks.
When we were stationed in Germany, my husband had to take several trips, but the longest was his deployment to Iraq. We got everything prepared, such as powers of attorney, wills, financial issues, etc. We thought we were prepared for everything. And for a while, we were.
Then came the “hoopdie.” When soldiers are stationed overseas, the military will ship one car, but if they want more than that, they must incur the expense personally or wait and buy a second-hand car once there. This second car usually is reasonably priced and is just reliable enough for Dad to get to work. (Of course Mom gets the minivan!) These cars are affectionately called “hoopdies.” Well, we had a cute little used burgundy BMW that Mac took to work. It was cheap, but reliable.
When Mac deployed, I was left taking care of the car…and I don’t drive a stick. Once in a great while I would have a neighbor drive it for me, but there was about a 2-3 month stretch where I let it slip through the cracks. So about a month before he was due to return, I went outside to “brave” the standard transmission and get the car running again. Having “Googled” the phrase “starting a stick shift car,” I pushed in the clutch, put the car in neutral, and turned the key…nothing. “Okay” I thought, “this is still new to me. Try again.” Again, nothing.
After a few more attempts, I gave up and got out of the car. Trying to pop the hood (as if I would have any idea what I was looking at), I inadvertently pushed the alarm button on the key fob. A grinding, sad-sounding, but freakishly loud blast came from the horn and continued sounding. I pushed the alarm button and every other button I could find trying to make it stop. Neighbors began to emerge from their houses. As they stared and pointed at me, I felt the heaviness of despair loom.
I ran inside and grabbed the phone to call ADAC, the German equivalent of AAA. In my very broken German I managed to get them to send a technician to my house. He looked at me with an icy stare, and I know he was saying to himself “I cannot beeleef how shtoopit zis voman iss!”
Soon enough he had replaced the battery, stopped the dreadful honking, and had found the cause of the problem. In its idleness, the car engine had become home to a bird, and the animal had become trapped in its new “nest”. The poor thing seemed to have attempted to escape by pecking its way out, to no avail. I’m not sure which was in worse shape that afternoon, the bird or my pride.
I was terribly embarrassed to tell my husband about this mishap. But when Mac came home, he was more understanding than I could have hoped. He had a peace about him, and he had a better understanding than I did about what was really important in life.
We spouses don’t always gain the same insight during deployments. The neighborhood gossip mills revved up, and I quickly became known as the worst car owner on the block…a title I have yet to relinquish, even two assignments later. I still don’t drive stick, and I panic whenever I hear a car alarm going off.
And the hoopdie? It’s back in Germany somewhere, serving another term with another military family, just waiting for Sgt. Murphy to return with his nasty Law.
If you would like to help deployed military members and their families over the holidays, there are a number of resources available. The following excerpt is from http://www.military.com/Resources/ResourceFileView?file=Holiday_Help.htm
What can you do to show support for servicemembers, especially those serving overseas? Below are Websites for several organizations that are sponsoring programs for members of the Armed Forces overseas. Servicemembers do value and appreciate any expressions of support you can send them.
Donate a calling card to help keep servicemembers in touch with their families at Operation Uplink at http://www.operationuplink.org/
Send a greeting via e-mail through Operation Dear Abby at http://anyservicemember.navy.mil/ or http://www.OperationDearAbby.net
Sign a virtual thank you card at the Defend America Web site at http://www.defendamerica.mil/nmam.html
Send messages to soldiers through the new forum "Messages for Soldiers" at http://www.mfsusa.org/main.html
Make a donation to one of the military relief societies:
Army Emergency Relief at http://www.aerhq.org/
Navy/Marine Relief Society at http://www.nmcrs.org/
Air Force Aid Society at http://www.afas.org/
Coast Guard Mutual Assistance at http://www.cgmahq.org/
Donate to "Operation USO Care Package" at http://www.usometrodc.org/care.html
Support the American Red Cross Armed Forces Emergency Services at http://www.redcross.org/services/afes/
Donate Blood to the Armed Services Blood Program; for more information, visit http://www.tricare.osd.mil/asbpo/
Volunteer at a VA Hospital to honor veterans who bore the lamp of freedom in past conflicts. Find the VA health facility nearest you.
Support families whose loved ones are being treated at military and VA hospitals through a donation to the Fisher House at http://www.fisherhouse.org.
Reach out to military families in your community, especially those with a loved one overseas.
Please do not flood the military mail system with letters, cards, and gifts. Due to security concerns and transportation constraints, the Department of Defense cannot accept items to be mailed to "Any Servicemember." Some people have tried to avoid this prohibition by sending large numbers of packages to an individual servicemember's address, which however well intentioned, clogs the mail and causes unneccessary delays.
The support and generosity of the American people has touched the lives of many servicemembers, over 300,000 of whom are deployed overseas.
Not Just Strong...Army Mom Strong 
Sadie McCurry is a Catholic military wife and mother of four. She and her husband have been married for 13 years and have twin 10-year-old girls, a 7-year-old boy and a 4-month-old boy. They are currently stationed at Ft. Wainwright, Alaska, near Fairbanks. Sadie has her bachelor’s degree in Health Education with a Certificate in Nutrition. 
