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The People Who Actually Do This
Last month the mothers' group at my parish had an evening
get-together/planning meeting to welcome new members and work out details
for the upcoming year. We chatted about who was expecting new little ones
and as the conversation wound its way around to NFP and we giggled and
commiserated together over the ups and downs of it. After a while one of the
new members of this group exclaimed, "Wow! I have to tell my husband that I've found the people who actually do
this!"
A few weeks later I was meeting with an engaged couple to whom I have been
teaching NFP and they laughingly told me about how they had been talking
about chart-keeping with friends of theirs (who are also learning NFP) and
the grooms-to-be (jokingly) decided that they would keep their own charts of
their fiancé's moods and try to determine fertility from those. The
bride-to-be rolled her eyes, but both were clearly glad to have friends with
whom to share the experience of learning NFP.
These two episodes again made clear to me how important it is to share our
struggles and triumphs in living the Church's teachings with a community of
other faithful Catholics. In fact, the Universal Church is broken down by
nation and diocese and parish in part so that we will have a community of
believers living in the same particular geographical and cultural
environment and shepherded by the same pastors and bishops - from whom to
draw support. But unfortunately, many of us do not receive the support we
desire - and deserve - when it comes to understanding and accepting the
Church's teachings on marriage and sexuality and in particular, family
planning.
The Church has unwaveringly taught for more than 2000 years that
contraception is always gravely immoral for every person, in every time and
place, no matter what and that couples who have serious reasons to avoid
pregnancy may use only morally good means (NFP or total continence) to avoid
conceiving. But when did you last hear this in a homily? Was it mentioned
when you were being preparing to be married? When your children were
baptized? When you went through RCIA? Sometimes it is, but all to often it
is not and even when NFP is mentioned in these settings it sometimes comes
across that it is only for "special" people and much too difficult or
demanding for "normal" Catholics.
So what's the solution? All of us flawed, weak, sinful (i.e. normal)
NFP-using Catholics need to speak up. Now please understand that I am not
suggesting that we all share the intimate details of our marriages, but
there is much strength and comfort to be found in commiserating over the
Abstinent Anniversary or the struggle to discern whether we truly have
serious reasons for avoiding pregnancy or laughing together over the line
drawn down the middle of the bed during the fertile phase or the chart
decorated with purple marker by an enterprising preschooler.
Do you belong to a bible study? A women's group? Some other small,
faith-based community? If so, why not ask about inviting and someone to
speak about NFP (usually your local NFP teachers will be more than happy to
do this or recommend someone else if they are not available)? Or suggest a
group discussion of Humanae Vitae or the sections of the Catechism
that deal with marriage and sexuality? Or simply ask the group, "Does anyone
here have any experience with NFP? Would anyone be interested in learning
more?"
Do you have the time to volunteer to speak as about your experiences using
NFP at marriage preparation, baptism or RCIA classes? You need not be an
eloquent speaker or have any unusual stories to tell to do so. The most
important part of having an NFP "Witness Couple" speak at these kinds of
classes is simply to allow those attending to see that yes, there are
normal, happy, people-who-actually-do-this - what you say is secondary.
In the Catechism of the Catholic Church we read that as we are all members
of the mystical body of Christ "the least of our acts done in charity
redounds to the profit of all" but that "every sin harms this communion" (CCC
953). In other words, we're all in this together, so let's start supporting
each other!
For additional "cyber-support" you are also most welcome to join in the
discussions in the Catholic Mom Community's NFP Forum -
http://p205.ezboard.com/fcatholicmomcommunityfrm63
 Looking for more
information on Natural Family Planning?
Visit our Natural Family Planning Resource Center.
copyright 2004 Sara
Fox Peterson
Sara Fox Peterson is a
stay-at-home mom and certified teacher of the
Billings Ovulation Method of Natural Family Planning. She holds a BS in
biology and an MS in human physiology, both from Georgetown University, and
lives in Maryland with her husband and two sons.
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