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Catholic Natural Family Planning Perspectives
a Catholic Mom Column by Sara Fox Peterson

Archived Catholic Natural Family Planning Columns from Sara Fox Peterson

The Pill: Questions and Answers
Heroic Virtue
Not on the Same Page (Part II)
Not on the Same Page (Part I)
The People Who Actually Do This
Sweetness and Light
Freeing Our Consciences
What if It's Too Late?
What's the Difference
Medical Exceptions
Waiting
Fear Not - Five Resolutions for a New Year
An Open Question
Catholic Contraception?
Contraception, Lies and the Truth
Natural Family Planning - Why Not?

Sara can be contacted by email at sfp@thosepetersons.com - please indicate "NFP" in the subject line of your email.

What is NFP?

Every fertile woman experiences recurring signs of her fertility. Natural Family Planning (NFP) teaches a woman to recognize and record these signs so that spouses can identify the days in each cycle when conception can occur and plan the timing of their marital relations according to their desire either to avoid or achieve pregnancy.

Looking for more information on Natural Family Planning?  Visit our Natural Family Planning Resource Center.

Natural Family Planning Method Comparison - a comprehensive comparison of natural family planning methods 

For additional "cyber-support" you are also most welcome to join in the discussions in the Catholic Mom Community's NFP Forum

Husbands and Daughters

Husbands

A few weeks ago I received an email from a young man who is engaged and planning on taking an NFP class with his fiancé, but was concerned that NFP seemed to unfairly burden women because she must be the one to track and chart the symptoms of fertility and I have also heard from many women who complain that their husband’s ‘go along’ with NFP, but aren’t really partners to the degree that they would like.

There are 4 parts to practicing NFP:

• Observing the signs and symptoms of fertility on a daily basis
• Recording these observations on a chart
• Interpreting the chart (determining whether or not the woman is fertile on any given day based on the recorded observations)
• Deciding whether or not to abstain on the days on which the woman is potentially fertile

And only part of the first of these needs to be done by the wife alone.  Only the woman herself can observe whether or not cervical mucus is present and if so, what its characteristics are, but after a few cycles of experience this is usually no more burdensome than observing the presence or absence of any other physical symptom (such as a headache or a runny nose or whether one is hungry or thirsty). Husbands can and do take responsibility for setting the alarm clock, getting the thermometer and handing it to their wives at the right time every day. Some take responsibility for keeping the chart by asking their wives each night before bed to dictate their observations for the day so that they can be recorded. Some husbands are the main interpreters of the charts of their wives’ observations and other couples do this together. And every couple who practices NFP should decide together whether not they need to abstain during the fertile phase of the woman’s cycle and both should be equally responsible for finding non-sexual ways to express love and remain intimate during the times when abstinence is necessary.

As with any shared responsibility in marriage, each couple must find the division of labor that works best for them and there is no one, right way to divide up or share these responsibilities, but because we live in a culture which tends to view fertility as a ‘woman’s problem’ and because women often feel somewhat ashamed of their fertility (or that the symptoms of fertility are somehow ‘icky’) many couples could benefit from a little soul-searching and honest discussion about whether they are truly sharing the responsibility of planning their families in way that is in keeping with the degree of openness and partnership married couples are called to.

Daughters

I believe that it is extremely important that girls/young women are taught the physiological basics of NFP (what cervical mucus is and what it indicates), usually at around the same time that they are taught about menstruation. I have talked to a truly astonishing number of educated, intelligent women who, after a first lesson in NFP, say “Oh that’s what that (cervical mucus) is! I always thought there was something wrong with me or that I had an infection when I saw that."  All women - even young ones - have the right to understand how their bodies work and to be prepared for and comfortable with all of the changes they will observe throughout their menstrual cycles.

There is also statistical evidence* that girls/young women who can see that they are fertile each cycle are far more likely to value their fertility and sexuality and guard them appropriately. And a woman who has been observing her fertility (even casually) for years will usually find it relatively easy to trust that NFP will work for her should she need to avoid pregnancy once she is married

The Pontifical Council for the Family’s document, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality,** deals extensively with the duties, rights and solemn responsibilities of parents in educating their children about all aspects of sexuality, and specifically on the subject of a young girl’s entry into puberty it says this:

“Another important task for parents is following the gradual physiological development of their daughters and helping them joyfully to accept the development of their femininity in a bodily, psychological and spiritual sense. Therefore, normally, one should discuss the cycles of fertility and their meaning . . . Instruction for both girls and boys should aim at pointing out the beauty of motherhood and the wonderful reality of procreation, as well as the deep meaning of virginity. In this way they will be helped to go against the hedonistic mentality which is very widespread today and particularly, at such a decisive stage, in preventing the ‘contraceptive mentality’ which unfortunately is very common and which girls will have to face later in marriage” (90-92, emphasis original).

Teenage girls usually don’t need to be taught to keep a chart or the rules for avoiding pregnancy and really these things are best left until a couple is preparing for marriage, both because family planning is meant to be a shared responsibility and it is easier for it to feel that way if the means are learned by husband and wife at the same time and because the process of learning NFP can be a valuable tool for initiating important discussions about the couple’s thoughts, feelings and assumptions about sex and the spacing and raising of children. An exception would be a girl who was experiencing some sort of menstrual cycle irregularity and who might find it helpful or reassuring to know when she ovulated and therefore when she could expect menstruation and in such a case she could be taught how to keep a simplified chart.

*See http://www.teenstar-international.org/ for these statistics and more information on Teen STAR, an NFP-based sex-ed program for teenagers.

**To read the entire document visit The Vatican's Pontifical Council for the Family and their document The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality or for a less scholarly, but still faithfully Catholic, treatment of this subject I highly recommend the book Beyond the Birds and the Bees by Gregory Popcak.

For additional "cyber-support" you are also most welcome to join in the discussions in the Catholic Mom Community's NFP Forum

Looking for more information on Natural Family Planning?  Visit our Natural Family Planning Resource Center.

Sara Fox Peterson is a stay-at-home mom and certified teacher of the Billings Ovulation Method of Natural Family Planning.  She holds a BS in biology and an MS in human physiology, both from Georgetown University, and lives in Maryland with her husband and two sons.
 

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