Failed Resolutions

I love resolutions. Whether it’s an attempt at small monthly goals or the blank slate of a new year, I have always been motivated by setting goals and making plans.

This year, though, I’m coming up blank.

Maybe it’s the birthday party planning for my five-year-old. Maybe I’ve just relaxed too much since Christmas. Maybe… Well, I don’t know. This post is as much me “thinking out loud” as anything. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Failed Resolution #1: To get organized

Though I dearly love organization, resolving to “get organized” is a sure recipe for disaster. I can never live up to the standards in my mind, and lowering them is just. not. an. option. I need to set bite-sized goals, things that can be accomplished (perhaps even in a few hours on a Saturday).

Failed Resolution #2: To change “them”

This is a sneaky sort of thing that I sometimes forget about. I can’t change other people; I can hardly change myself! Whether it’s a daughter or a spouse, a friend or a family member, I need to focus on ME, not THEM.

Failed Resolution #3: To accomplish {fill in with something nearly impossible here}

You know, it’s not going to happen if it’s not the right time. And though I don’t dispute that having goals is good and worthy and even helpful, this sort of resolution is sure to set me up for a big crash (at least at this point in my life). Maybe I’m just shooting for the wrong things… Or maybe I need to trust more. Or…well, sometimes, as a dear aunt reminded me the other day, there is no why. (Yoda said that first, from what I understand.)

Failed Resolution #4: Do more

Perhaps what makes this a failed resolution for me, every single time, is that I very rarely have room to do more. The way I add to my plate is by discernment, and it never ever happens on January 1st. Though I started writing a regular column last year at the beginning of the year, it was less a “Do More” resolution than a calling that had been some time in coming. So I won’t be resolving, this year, to do more. I might end up doing more, yes. But it won’t be because I have it all figured out, whether what the “more” involves or what the “doing” is.

Failed Resolution #5: Free up some time

This is self-evident, isn’t it? Except that it’s not, at least for me. I need reminded not to resolve this. Every year.

Failed Resolution #6: Not to {fill in with something preposterous, like “waste entire days reading blogs”}

The fact is, I will do these things I vow not to do. It’s a question of balance. It’s a question of discipline. It’s a question of building in down time.

which leads me to…

This Year’s Resolution (The One That Won’t Let Me Down)

To keep letting go and trusting God. Prayer, first and foremost. The prayer will be integrated into my daily duties, as I wash dishes or answer the phone, when I’m at home with the kids or at work with my colleagues. I want to be in line with God’s will, but to do that, I have to be in conversation with Him. (Which, I’d like to add, is easier said than done for me.)