Here I Am

Here I am, Lord

"Here I am” is my constant prayer companion today. I heard it this morning at mass with my crew - the wiggly, wily ones. Looking into my wiggly son’s eyes and connecting on a level that only he and I share, I realized that as distracting as we are to others, as little time for quiet contemplation as I have, as shocking as my nursing baby is to some, “Here I am, Lord.”

Is showing up enough for our Lord? Can He take what little I have left and use it for his purpose? God, make it so! I am pondering a book this summer, "The Practice of the Presence of God,” writings by Brother Lawrence in a contemporary English version (published by Paraclete Press). For Brother Lawrence times of meditation and retreat were no more or less fruitful in his connection to Christ than his round of daily tasks. And his round of daily tasks was sometimes truly tedious and daunting in the extreme. His thoughts were always on Christ… when distracted, he would continually align his mind and motives.

Here I am to receive You in my humility and in my imperfection. Here I am in my flesh for your flesh.

In some mysterious way, I yearn for Christ to be part of me today. My faith is weak; my prayer is imperfect, but “Here I am Lord!” My domestic church has many challenges – physical, emotional and spiritual, helping to meet the needs of all ages and stages from 9 months to 20 years. It keeps me hopping and humble. My hope lies in the promise of Grace.

Hopefully showing up to my life and mission with an open heart and open hands will allow Christ to enter into my life – “Here I am Lord.”

Brother Lawrence, pray for us!