Lent Lent

I know Lent has already begun but I thought I’d go ahead and share what I’ve decided to do for this penitentiary season. I find it’s good to mix things up by making a list of things I will not do and things I will do as an offering and sacrifice that unites me to the Cross and brings me closer to God.

I gave much thought to this for many days before Ash Wednesday, so I’d be all prepared for Lent from the start…instead of by Holy Week.

These are the things I’m giving up:

  1. Laundry – it gets in the way of my prayer life and makes me grouchy.
  2. Dishes – it takes time away from my family and makes me grouchy.
  3. Cleaning the house – why bother, it just gets dirty again and I would rather sit and read the bible or pray the rosary instead? Besides, cleaning makes me grouchy, too.
  4. Making food – Jesus went into the desert for 40 days and had Angels waiting on him hand and foot. In order to really understand what he went through, I feel I must give this up also.
  5. Anything that involves time and energy with my kids or husband – my personal spiritual life has been suffering long enough; it’s high time I took a much needed break to get to know myself again. I’ve rented a fully-staffed cottage in an obscure and secret location where I will remain in solitude and prayerful contemplation until the dawn of Easter. I’ll give you one hint: It’s somewhere warm and sunny.

While I’m gone during these 40 days of penitence, prayer, and fasting I am going to:

  1. Sleep more, well in the morning anyway. I’ll stay up late into the night reading blogs, writing blog posts, checking Facebook and Twitter for any updates, or catch up with TV shows or movies I haven’t seen in a while. Then, I’ll sleep in all morning, get up for some lunch, then take a little nap, then some dinner before my late-night binging. I’ll offer up all this sleep for Jesus – the poor guy hardly got any when he was going through his time in the desert with that pesky devil constantly at his side so this will be for him as my penitence.
  2. Pray more. In between my blog binging and naps, I’m going to pray 5 Rosaries a day, 5 Divine Mercy Chaplets, the Liturgy of the Hours and the Angelus at Noon before lunch.
  3. I’m also going to read the whole Bible and the whole Catechism while I’m there. I could do that at night in between status updates and during the Hulu commercials. Or, since I hate commercials, I could force myself to watch those and offer that up for more penitence! Score!
  4. Fasting: Since I’m giving up cooking I guess I’ll have to order in every day. I just hope there is a place close by that offers meatless options without skirting on flavor and nutritional value! (I’m trying eat healthier and what better time than Lent to start!)
  5. With that, since I’m using Lent as a way to improve myself I’m bringing several books along: How to Pray better so God can understand YOU, How to be the Best person EVER!, You First, How to be the BEST parent in the WHOLE Universe, How to Live Your Own Life but Still have a Successful Marriage, and if I have time I’d also like to read Blue Ribbon: One Woman’s journey to winning the Best Wife of the Year Award.

I’m feeling quite satisfied with this list. By Easter I should be rested, renewed and all filled up with myself and ready to do what I think God should want me to do.

Now I hope that you copy me and share this with everyone and tell them how perfect my Lenten sacrifices are!

Enjoy a fun Lent!

{Writer’s note: If you’re worried this very serious post is in some way making fun of anyone, please be assured the only person I’m making fun of with is me…and perhaps some overzealous Catholics}

Copyright 2013 Erika Marie