--- title: Discovering Joy In Spite of Myself description: Melanie Jean Juneau shares how she discovered joy in the most unlikely place, in the midst of suffering. --- [![catholic-mom-logo-v2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/images/catholic-mom-logo-v2.svg "catholic-mom-logo-v2")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) [![search-icon](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/search-icon.svg)](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2014/05/01/discovering-joy-in-spite-of-myself#) # Discovering Joy In Spite of Myself May 1, 2014 12:30:20 PM  |  by [Melanie Jean Juneau](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/melanie-jean-juneau) ![564px-Chinese_Martirs](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/564px-Chinese_Martirs-376x400.jpg?width=376&height=400&name=564px-Chinese_Martirs-376x400.jpg) Years ago, living in poverty, united with a husband struggling with depression and surrounded by the clamour and demands of nine children, I was stretched to my limits of endurance. Lack of sleep was part of the reason that most of my inner walls of defense crumbled and hidden, inner demons tormented my dreams. I felt my emotional pain physically, as though a dagger had pierced my heart. It was easy to picture myself as a victim. It was easy to let go of my innate optimism and sink into moments of self-pity. Yet, I did not want mere happiness. I knew that there is a world of difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is dependant on circumstances but I knew that it is possible to dwell in joy, even in the most dire of circumstances. To me happiness is a fickle, surface emotion that is fleeting at best, impossible to even touch when I am surrounded by difficulties. Yet it was precisely a life filled with difficulties and yes, I could even say suffering, which stripped away my inner stumbling blocks to joy. It was a Catholic psychiatrist who taught me how to access the joy that is rooted deep within all of us, the joy that is ready to bubble up, instantaneously, if only we take a moment to connect with it. I learned that I can choose to live in my thoughts and my surface emotions which are dependant on what I am doing or seeing at that precise moment. However, if I take off my dung coloured glasses and look at reality, I can be grateful and somewhat happy and content. This is Cognitive Therapy which basically says that thoughts proceed emotions. However, if I delve deeper, often my wounded self rises up and once again I can plunge into pain again. At the snap of my fingers, I can look even deeper, deeper than my thoughts, deeper than my emotions, deeper than my wounds and touch my inner spirit, my core self, the self that is united to the eternal God. Immediately joy, pure bliss bubbles up and I can laugh, even as tears dry on my face. Why? My spirit is made up of the very same stuff that God is made up of, so when I open my spirit to him, his joy and life and strength immediately flows into me. I do not have to be perfect. I do not earn this joy. All that is needed is the humility to realize that I cannot survive on my own strength and then ask for his strength and his life giving joy. Finding joy, living in joy is as easy and as difficult as that. **Ponder:** How do you let go of self-pity and live in the joy of the Lord? ***Lord, give me the grace to let go of eo-centric, self-pity and dwell in, with and through you, in your Joy.*** *Copyright 2014, Melanie Jean Juneau* *image Icon of Sts. Chinese Martyrs  "Joy of All Who Sorrow"* ### Share this article [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F05%2F01%2Fdiscovering-joy-in-spite-of-myself%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F05%2F01%2Fdiscovering-joy-in-spite-of-myself%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F05%2F01%2Fdiscovering-joy-in-spite-of-myself%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=Discovering%20Joy%20In%20Spite%20of%20Myself) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F05%2F01%2Fdiscovering-joy-in-spite-of-myself%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F05%2F01%2Fdiscovering-joy-in-spite-of-myself%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) ** #### About the Author ![Melanie Jean Juneau](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Melanie-Jean-Juneau.jpg) ### [Melanie Jean Juneau](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/melanie-jean-juneau) Melanie Jean Juneau is a mother of nine children who blogs at [joy of nine9](https://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/wp-admin/melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com.). Her writing is humorous and heart-warming; thoughtful and thought-provoking. Part of her call and her witness is to write the truth about children, family, marriage and the sacredness of life. Melanie is the administrator of [ACWB](http://associationofcatholicwomenbloggers.blogspot.ca/), the Editor in Chief at [CatholicLane](http://catholiclane.com/author/melanie-juneau/), [CatholicStand](http://catholicstand.com/author/melanie-jean-juneau/), [Catholic365](http://www.catholic365.com/author/melanie-jean-juneau/) , [CAPC](http://catholicap.com/author/melanie-jean-juneau/) & author of [Echoes of the Divine](https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/521798). ## Related Blog Articles [ From the Archives: Saints are Simply Living the Normal Christian Life Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2016/03/31/from-the-archives-saints-are-simply-living-the-normal-christian-life) [ "Lord, if this is how You treat Your friends ..." Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2018/05/17/lord-if-this-is-how-you-treat-your-friends/) [ Pregnant in Advent With Mary Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2016/12/15/pregnant-advent-mary) ## Comments ## Donate now [![Support Catholic Mom](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545) [![CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png?width=1806&height=731&name=CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png "CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) ##### Subscribe to Catholic Momcast on iTunes or Spotify [![itunes-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/itunes-logo-black.svg)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/catholic-momcast/id1362352357)[![spotify-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/spotify-logo-black.svg)](https://open.spotify.com/show/15CoipHL7z61IDcYErV0b8?si=hqaQJSxDQgq7S1hxCwsoxQ) ##### CatholicMom on Social Networks [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) ##### About Catholic Mom [Who We Are](https://www.catholicmom.com/about-us) [Contact Us](https://www.catholicmom.com/contact) [Support CatholicMom.com](https://www.catholicmom.com/support-us)   ##### Associated Links [Holy Cross Family Ministries](https://www.hcfm.org/) [Family Rosary](https://www.familyrosary.org/) [Family Theater Productions](https://www.familytheater.org/) [Congregation of the Holy Cross](https://www.holycrossusa.org/) [Father Patrick Peyton, C.S.C.](https://www.fatherpeyton.org/) [The Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life](https://www.peytonfamilyinstitute.org/) ### **Stay connected!** Don’t miss a thing! 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