In the Midst of Chaos {Moms’ Night Out: A Real Life Look}

Editor’s note: Today we have another installment of our Moms’ Night Out: A Real Life Look series, where our writers share how this movie resonated with them, how it touched them where they are right now, how they found a glimpse of the priorities and beauty they sometimes overlook in the midst of the daily grind. Enjoy!

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I was born to be a momma.  I have home videos from my childhood to show it.  There was a short stint where I thought God was calling me to religious life, but I think that mostly came from my own will, wondering why I never had a boyfriend.  Thank you God, for working with craziness.

So, I relate closely to the moms in Moms' Night Out.

In every way.

In every character.

I am Allison…so unsure if this is what I truly dreamed about.  The chaos, the disorganization, the sacrifice…I want to know from the Lord above, “Is this what you truly called me to?”

I am Sondra…mother of a teenager she just can’t understand.  She also can’t understand how to mother this beautiful soul without making mistakes.  The woman can’t even text!  Wait, wait…that’s me, too.

Last week, this is what I texted to my husband:  “Hey, Stevie.  Could you save me a chicken breastfeeding?  Please?”

His response:  “Huh?”

I meant, “Hey, Stevie.  Could you save me a chicken breast, please?”  I always forget to investigate the autocorrect before pressing send.  It’s truly embarrassing!

Like Sondra, I have the sense that I am juggling chainsaws, hoping no one will get hurt by the mistake I might make.  So I keep juggling them, higher in the air, praying for guidance and peace, all the while, creating more chaos.

I am Izzy…worried about the number of children the Lord has planned for me.  Worried about my husband’s reaction when I say, “Stevie, I’m pregnant, again. ☺”  Knowing that I have a mother’s heart, so it doesn’t even matter when my biological time is up, I know I will always be taking in those who need a home.  Worried if my husband will agree. Worried that we will be able to make it.  Worried about how to juggle it all.

As I write this article, I look around my home.  My last little angel, the caboose (as we lovingly call her) just made her First Holy Communion…and the house is a WRECK!  Pantyhose on the ground, a pile of laundry that looks like Mount Kilimanjaro, Golden Retriever hair rolling around the floor, and a stack of dishes waiting for me.  And the clutter of books and socks!  I am exhausted just thinking of all that awaits me once the children retire for the night, which won’t be for several hours.  Gosh, I need some coffee! (To be honest, I will probably leave it for another day - #mommyfail; “I have failed again.  It’s all I do.” -Allison)

Not to mention the noise in the house.  I am SURE that no one else’s children have volumes that rate on the Richter scale.  Though I love their laughter, it does at times pierce.  The yelling – well, let’s not speak of the yelling.

This doesn’t compare to the internal struggle I have with the inadequacy…the not feeling ENOUGH.  I see other mommas…they have it all together!  You know…the moms in the Bible study that have it all together…they have the front row parking at the mall – by the grace of God.  Hello, God…it’s me.  Mary.  Remember me?  Can I even get the second row?  Why can’t I get it together?

A mom…misunderstood by her own children…her husband…society…maybe even by herself.

And honestly, the last time I mommy blogged was a month ago!  A MONTH AGO!  For the love that is my family, I call myself a writer!  I’ve read other mommy blogs…they’ve got it together!  I’m taking notes and trying to apply in my household.

CHAOS!  AND I CAN’T SEEM TO GET IT UNDER CONTROL!

I’m not in control…I’m not in control…God’s in control.

I need a mom’s night out…I need the girlfriends who will go with me – understand me, mentor me, laugh with me.  Maybe bowling – that’s fun.  Dinner and a movie – wait, not an animated movie, right?  I can’t take one more round of Frozen.

I know that one night is all I would need.  How do I know?  Because when I go out on dates with the hubs, I end up calling home several times a night, and totally missing the kids.  It’s really difficult to be with them and feel adequate as a momma; and really difficult to be apart from them and pamper myself a bit.

It’s the never ending confusion of being a mom.

Being a mother is the best calling of my life.  Being a momma is what I was meant to be.  Being a momma is written in my DNA by God Himself.

As my spiritual director reminds me, we should respect the saints, but not emulate them.  He wants me to embrace what God is calling me to.  This includes my mommy-ness, with all the uniqueness it brings.

There is no cookie cutter momma.  We are all made with our unique gifts and talents, and to God, we are ENOUGH.  He made us ENOUGH.  The arbitrary scale of performance is our own scale, not God’s.

And it’s wonderful.  The whole package, when taken as the total gift:  MOTHERHOOD IS WONDERFUL.

As Bones, the unlikely philosopher who loves Pinterest says in Mom’s Night Out, “You spend so much time beating yourself up.  It must be exhausting.”  Yes, Bones, you are right.

He goes on to say, “Let me tell you something.  I doubt the good Lord made a mistake giving your kid the Momma He did.  So just be you.  He’ll take care of the rest.”

Thank you, Bones.  I needed that.

Be you.  It’s who God made you to be, anyway.  This reminds me of Psalm 139, in which the Psalmist tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I was made to be the momma of Elizabeth, Emma, Elani, and Elie.  We’ve opened our doors now to Eddy.  God made me for this.

And it is the fulfillment of my dream as a child.  The dream where I have this life – all of it – and I am blessed.  My cup runneth over.  It is definitely a blessing cup.

Tune in tomorrow for another installment of our Moms' Night Out: A Real Life Look series!

Copyright 2014, Mary Wallace