Josh Ritter, a musician, wrote a song called, "Girl in the War." I heard it on Pandora and some of the words spoke to me, especially concerning the psychologists and therapists that we were paying to help our youngest daughter. At times we felt like quoting the song, "If they can't find a way to help her, they can go to" ...well "HE double-hockey sticks." Also, as parents of an 18 year old "adult," all we can really to at this point, as the song goes: "is turn up the music and pray that she makes it through."
All of a sudden the relationship changes within the family and that young, sweet girl disappears, I hear, for a time and then returns in a different form, calmer and more mature. But until that time, the household goes into turmoil...for a time. New rules need to be drawn up and enforced to help alleviate some of the stress on the parents and instill some control and SAFETY for the child (I don't care what they say, 18 is still a child). But these rules may be the "first to go." Then all....eh-hem, H.E. double-hockey sticks breaks out in the household.
As her parents, we are at a complete loss, looking at our transforming off-spring, wondering what we did or didn't do, or just "why did this happen to our little girl?" Going over and over again in my mind the fact that we loved our children, never compared them to each other, brought them to Jesus, to Mass every Sunday and special days, she was a cantor for 2 years at the parish we belonged to and sang beautifully. She received the sacrament of confirmation last year. All I keep asking myself is, did I do too much? I have cried myself to sleep many a night over how much my little girl has changed, wishing I could have stopped her from doing some of the dangerous things she did with dangerous people far older than she. Since there is no way to penetrate the stubborn hard shell that covers this precious young lady mind, all the parents can do is basically get down on their knees and...
"turn up the music and pray that she makes it through".....
To be continued.
Copyright 2015 Ebeth
About the Author
Ebeth Weidner, a Master Catechist and cradle Catholic who considers herself a Catholic information junkie, writes from her heart about the faith and hope she finds in the Catholic Church. She is the author of “A Catholic Mom Climbing the Pillars” blog. She is the wife of a research science Professor and mom to 3 great young adults people living on the coastal side of North Carolina.