It’s a scene any mother is all too familiar with…
We came to the store in a rush after realizing we don’t have the main entrée for the fabulous meal we are preparing that night. We throw the kids into the cart and ignore the shouts for the free cookie at the bakery. We’ve made it to the freezer section and toss the Digiorno on top of the random items we just couldn’t pass up in the “Clearance” section.
And then, the kids spot the ice cream aisle. And then, the oldest tries jumping out of the cart. And then, he’s somehow succeeded, and the cart is on its way down with the other kids still inside.
Your superhero mom moves weren’t enough.
Are you starting to sweat as those feelings come creeping back from last week’s Target trip?
Your emotions…deep rage for your little monsters, total embarrassment, the rage again, and then that worry we all get every now and then…is someone going to call DHS on me?
But, let’s be honest here, what is the worst part of this whole scene?
The nasty looks we are getting from other women. From other moms. Sure, you’re beyond crazy mad at your kids, but the lack of camaraderie in the world - woman to woman - is the real day-breaker.
So, now you are in the check-out line. The kids are still screaming, still bleeding, you’ve had “one of those mornings” and don’t have it in you to even try to get them to be quiet anymore. You’re just trying to hold the tears back until you get into the comfort of your driver’s seat.
And then, the woman ahead of you catches your tear-stricken eyes and says to you,
“We’ve all been there. Don’t worry, this too shall pass. Do you need any help?”
Cue your waterworks.
While meditating on The Visitation, the image in my rosary book struck me.
Look at that love, woman to woman that is shown through our Blessed Mother and her beloved cousin, Elizabeth.
There’s Holy Mary, after traveling for eightyish miles, four or five days, newly pregnant herself and arriving simply out of charity.
Charity for another fellow soon-to-be mom.
To be honest, this light-hearted article was going to keep going towards the end with a relatively light-hearted mood…but the Holy Spirit seemed to want it to go a much more serious direction.
So, here it goes.
Way too often lately, I have listened to other mom’s hurt from the lack of “Visitation” in their lives after a miscarriage.
“My friends and family acted like it wasn’t that big of a deal. They would say things like, “I know you’re sad, but look, you do have two healthy children.”
“Oh, you were only 10 weeks along?”
“I left the hospital empty-handed, no certificate of birth, no acknowledgement that I had just lost a child.”
“I wasn’t given any resources or a support group to turn to in our parish.”
One mom, who has experienced several miscarriages and then a traumatic loss of her infant, said she received stacks of cards when her precious infant had passed. She couldn’t recall receiving any cards after her miscarriages.
"Listen to me, O coastlands, pay attention, you peoples from far away! The Lord called me before I was born, while I was in my mother’s womb he named me." Isaiah 49:1
We know how all babies (from moment of conception) are a family member…but maybe next time we hear of a miscarriage, we can help others show their love and support to that heartbroken family.
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Encourage your friends and families (even parishes!) to call, make a meal, send a card, drop off some flowers. Something. Anything.
Help remind others how much that sweet little life means, how much it has imprinted its sweet life on Mommy.
Take a moment to think, in all areas of your life right now…Who can you Mary to their Elizabeth today?
Copyright 2016 Stephanie Stovall
About the Author
Stephanie Stovall loves Oklahoma State University and hanging out with her husband. She keeps Holy Mary busy praying for patience with her five little boys. Stephanie loves God, Catholicism and evangelizing with all her heart! You can find more of her messy thoughts over on TheBlessedFruit.com