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1. Tooth decay

No kidding. Imagine the south of France, just off the shore of the Mediterranean—with all the boats named “Floss,” “Cavity,” “Drill It,” “Fluoride.” Yeah, dentists sailing around on big boats thanks to the sugary treats that practically define this special day. Why can’t we all just get the day off like a real holiday?

2. Martyrdom

Contrary to conventional wisdom, greeting card companies didn’t dream up Valentine’s Day. Two perfectly good saints ran afoul of the powers that be and lost their lives the hard way. Kind of a downer, right? Yeah. Happy SaintValentine’s Day.

3. Money

Have you priced roses lately? And don’t even think of buying less than a dozen. Nothing says “You’re mostly okay” like 9 roses. Even Mom will get the hint. And if you’re the recipient, don’t think you’re off the hook. Think instead about what that small fortune could have purchased that would still be useful months after the last of the petals have been swept into the trash.

4. Predictability

Every year it’s the same thing: candy, flowers, jewelry, cute cards. Boring! But try to veer from the script and suddenly you’re a failure. Example: screwdrivers. Screwdrivers are among the handiest things on earth. But do not — ever — try to show your love by giving a nice set of screwdrivers as a Valentine’s Day gift. The looks you’ll get …

5. Timing

You’ve barely recovered from the winter season’s big, tense, over-hyped holidays, and now this. Haven’t even gotten the tax refund and it’s back to the greeting-card kiosk, back to the chocolatier … Let’s not even go into the whole florist thing. They probably have a few boats on the Mediterranean, too, right?

And One Reason to Love it …

CRS Ethical Trade is giving away this awesome Valentine’s Day gift set with beautiful fair trade Valentine’s Day gifts that support workers, the environment — and Catholic Relief Services. If you’re lucky, you just might win it! Check out our ethical trade options. You might even find something for the grump on your list. They need love too. Just, you know, exercise caution when approaching them with candy hearts.
Copyright 2018 Catholic Relief Services