--- title: A Mother Grows From Self-Pity to Living in Reality description: Melanie Jean Juneau recounts her realization that self-pity did not serve her, her family, or God. image: https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/a-mother-grows-from-self-pity-f.jpg --- [![catholic-mom-logo-v2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/images/catholic-mom-logo-v2.svg "catholic-mom-logo-v2")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) [![search-icon](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/search-icon.svg)](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2018/05/31/a-mother-grows-from-self-pity-to-living-in-reality/#) # A Mother Grows From Self-Pity to Living in Reality May 31, 2018 11:00:57 AM  |  by [Melanie Jean Juneau](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/melanie-jean-juneau) ![featured image](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/a-mother-grows-from-self-pity-f.jpg) [!["A mother grows from self-pity to living in reality" by Melanie Jean Juneau (CatholicMom.com)](http://catholicmom.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/a-mother-grows-from-self-pity.jpg)](http://catholicmom.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/a-mother-grows-from-self-pity.jpg) [Pixabay(2017), CC0 Public Domain](https://pixabay.com/en/kitchen-house-home-dish-sink-2591695/)[/caption] When I was a young Catholic mother, surrounded by a crew of little people, I was overwhelmed by the pressure to raise children who were not only faithful Catholics but polite, well-mannered, intelligent, well-read and socialized. I  faced unrelenting chores day in and day out, with little or no time to even think of meeting my own needs. It was a good day if I managed to brush my teeth and wash my face hours after dragging myself out of bed in the morning. I felt sorry for myself. #### A Mother in Self-Pity Then one night, as I stood at the kitchen sink, with pain lancing my chest, I started to cry, sobbing silently as I tackled a mound of dirty dishes. Exhaustion weighed heavy and my arms felt like a stone. It was 11:00 PM at night. I should have been in bed ... My little ones woke up every morning so early. I felt alone, disconnected from any support system -- Isolated. In my mind's eye, I could see a knife piercing my heart. There was a name carved into the handle of that knife. I strained my inner eye, expecting to see my husband's name carved into the wood because it seemed like he did not support me as a mother of a large family. I felt like he was in the wrong and I was the good one Always trying my best to fulfill all my duties as a Christian mother. Yet, I could not see my husband's name carved on the handle. I was determined to see my husband as the cause of my pain. So, I tried to manipulate the letters, but I could not force them to spell his name. The etched letters clearly spelled my own name. The letters clearly said, Melanie. #### Breakthrough My eyes opened wide and I literally gasped in shock as God managed to pierce through my self-righteousness in an instant. His Truth pierced  right to my core self, Dissolving the knife and my sharp pain with it into an insubstantial mist. I saw clearly I was the architect of my own misery. I was simply a dramatic self-made victim, Acting like a pitiful scapegoat. An inner switch flipped. God's truth set me free to see reality. Misery slipped off like a useless rag. #### God Taught me How to Be a Mother The mountain of work I had been carrying on my shoulders was suddenly thrown into the sea by a mustard seed of common sense Because There was no mountain except in my self-pitying delusions of martyred grandeur. Then, I was filled with self-depreciating laughter, which cut through my stress. The Spirit of Truth and Joy had finally cut through my self-pity. I realized Christ is the only sacrifice who can save from me. If I am humble enough to realize I cannot exist as an island, then I  accept that I cannot do it all on my own. I can only live in joy as a child of God when I am wholly dependent on Him for everything. I can only be an effective Catholic mother when I live as a child of God. --- *Copyright 2018 Melanie Jean Juneau* ### Share this article [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2018%2F05%2F31%2Fa-mother-grows-from-self-pity-to-living-in-reality%2F%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2018%2F05%2F31%2Fa-mother-grows-from-self-pity-to-living-in-reality%2F%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2018%2F05%2F31%2Fa-mother-grows-from-self-pity-to-living-in-reality%2F%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=A%20Mother%20Grows%20From%20Self-Pity%20to%20Living%20in%20Reality) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2018%2F05%2F31%2Fa-mother-grows-from-self-pity-to-living-in-reality%2F%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2018%2F05%2F31%2Fa-mother-grows-from-self-pity-to-living-in-reality%2F%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) ** #### About the Author ![Melanie Jean Juneau](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Melanie-Jean-Juneau.jpg) ### [Melanie Jean Juneau](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/melanie-jean-juneau) Melanie Jean Juneau is a mother of nine children who blogs at [joy of nine9](https://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/wp-admin/melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com.). Her writing is humorous and heart-warming; thoughtful and thought-provoking. Part of her call and her witness is to write the truth about children, family, marriage and the sacredness of life. Melanie is the administrator of [ACWB](http://associationofcatholicwomenbloggers.blogspot.ca/), the Editor in Chief at [CatholicLane](http://catholiclane.com/author/melanie-juneau/), [CatholicStand](http://catholicstand.com/author/melanie-jean-juneau/), [Catholic365](http://www.catholic365.com/author/melanie-jean-juneau/) , [CAPC](http://catholicap.com/author/melanie-jean-juneau/) & author of [Echoes of the Divine](https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/521798). ## Related Blog Articles [ From Our Table to Yours: Melanie Jean Juneau Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2015/12/12/from-our-table-to-yours-melanie-jean-juneau) [ We Draw Our Strength From the Resurrection Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2018/04/12/we-draw-our-strength-from-the-resurrection/) [ Remembering Christmas Past Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2018/12/24/remembering-christmas-past/) ## Comments ## Donate now [![Support Catholic Mom](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545) [![CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png?width=1806&height=731&name=CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png "CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) ##### Subscribe to Catholic Momcast on iTunes or Spotify [![itunes-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/itunes-logo-black.svg)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/catholic-momcast/id1362352357)[![spotify-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/spotify-logo-black.svg)](https://open.spotify.com/show/15CoipHL7z61IDcYErV0b8?si=hqaQJSxDQgq7S1hxCwsoxQ) ##### CatholicMom on Social Networks [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) ##### About Catholic Mom [Who We Are](https://www.catholicmom.com/about-us) [Contact Us](https://www.catholicmom.com/contact) [Support CatholicMom.com](https://www.catholicmom.com/support-us)   ##### Associated Links [Holy Cross Family Ministries](https://www.hcfm.org/) [Family Rosary](https://www.familyrosary.org/) [Family Theater Productions](https://www.familytheater.org/) [Congregation of the Holy Cross](https://www.holycrossusa.org/) [Father Patrick Peyton, C.S.C.](https://www.fatherpeyton.org/) [The Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life](https://www.peytonfamilyinstitute.org/) ### **Stay connected!** Don’t miss a thing! 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