For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)Think of how much you love your kids and multiply it by a jillion. It’s still not enough. Then something crappy happens. Pick one. In my case it was the loss of a job I loved. The only thing I knew about my future was that I wasn’t going to that office anymore. Add in that my oldest moved eleven hours away to college and I turned 50 in December and there were valid reasons to wallow. I don’t know why God allowed this to happen, but I do know that he cried right along with me. He never left my side. He showered an avalanche of love on me that I never expected. Still, it’s hard. But it’s not impossible. Because God held me up when I couldn’t hold myself up anymore, I got through it. In some ways the 2018 highlight reel was a little dismal. In other ways, it showed a battered woman who realized on a deeper level the importance of trusting God and the comfort that comes along with that trust. I’ve learned that God will take such good care of us, such perfect, loving, gentle, beautiful care, if we let Him. Those last four words are the cornerstone. We have to let Him. And if we are calling the shots, playing by house rules, we aren’t letting Him. A dear friend received wise words from a priest about how to handle the commandments while living a very human life. He advised her to talk to people who are where she wants to be. So if it’s birth control, find someone who’s mastered NFP and ask questions. Keep looking until you get answers from someone who can relate to your particular situation. God gave us hard rules that don’t always make sense to our human minds. They don’t have to. It’s not ours to understand. We don’t even have to like all the rules, but we have to do our best to follow them. We have to keep trying, keep searching and let Him take care of us. We can pray for the grace to follow. We can pray for the desire for the grace to follow. If we keep praying and keep trusting, He is going to help us out. He’s our Father Almighty. He wants us to be happy. Maybe we need to pray for the grace to believe that first. There is no easy answer. God’s rules are challenging, and Jesus warned us that following Him would be rough. But He also told us we will never be alone. The enemy might have one side of the rope in this spiritual tug o’war, but the Holy Spirit has the winning side. It comes down to faith and whether we are willing to throw ourselves into the giant question mark and believe God will catch us.
Copyright 2019 Merridith Frediani
About the Author
Merridith Frediani’s perfect day includes prayer, writing, unrushed morning coffee, tending to dahlias and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three teenagers. Her favorite part of the day is family dinner which sometimes doesn’t happen until 8:30 pm. She enjoys hanging out on the front porch and laughing with family and friends. Good Italian wine is a must.