10 Mom-Approved Ways to Help Your Children Navigate Difficult Social Situations

"10 mom-approved ways" by Emily Jaminet (CatholicMom.com)

Image credit: Via Canva.com, licensed for use by Emily Jaminet. All rights reserved.[/caption] Now, more than ever before, our youth are hurting from difficult social dynamics and the pain that comes from the backlash of social media. Here are some helpful suggestions based on expert advice and mom-approved and tested. Recently, I reached out to some of my friends who have been parenting in the trenches with me to find out new ways to help mentor our children to deal with difficult social situations in a sometimes cold and often ruthless culture that can breed toxic friendships.

Behaviors that Hurt

In an article on EmpoweringParents.com, “Girl bullying: What to do When your daughter is a Victim of 'Mean Girls',” author Peggy Moss, JD, states that bullying can include tactics such as “exclusion, forming cliques, gossiping, spreading rumors, making nasty comments, cyberbullying, outcasting, sharing secrets and backstabbing.” These “methods” are how girls and boys use “non-violent” means to destroy self-esteem and make a child’s life miserable. Sadly, most administrators and adults are not able to see these behaviors like they would a fist fight or yelling match. These hurtful behaviors are done behind most adults back and unless your child is willing to open up and share, you might not have a clue they are struggling. As parents, we need to keep this on our radar and look for warning signs. Warning Signs a Child is Struggling: Children don’t know how to deal with this type of social stress, but parents need to be aware. Here are some possible behaviors that might change because of social strain: sudden onset of anxiety, loss of sleep, depression, loss of appetite, change of social behaviors, complaining of being lonely, not having anyone to sit with at lunch, low self-esteem, mood changes such as onset of anger or coldness towards their family. These current trend of children and teens hurting each other through non-violent means is seen not only at school and youth group: Kids are also being left out and hurt through technology. For example, children go out of their way to exclude others and post when they are not included. This can be done by making their SnapChat location public so everyone can see who is hanging out, or posting livestreams and showing the fun they are having. As one mom said, "When I was a child, I just didn’t know about parties and sleepovers you were not included until later. Now, in a click, your children can see everything and everyone who didn’t think you should make the invite list.” Yes, our children need to learn that not everyone can be invited to everything, but social media provides a porthole view of everything in which others are not included, and parents need to realize that these tools can be very hurtful. "Flexing,” a new urban term, means to show off, or to boast, in an often fake manner. Flexing is hurtful and is not rooted in humility. By living according to basic precepts of our Catholic faith and taking deliberate action, we just might be able to educate our children and prepare them for these difficult situations that they will experience at some point in their life. I have witnessed firsthand how one “mean girl” can turn a whole squad of friends against a child for no reason. We need to be more aware when someone is being left out, and how we can mentor our children to be loving and kind, even when it isn’t popular. I have also seen kids left out because they don’t have access to technology such as phones and iPods, which can leave a child feeling sad and not included.