Image credit: By Phil Hearing (2018), Unsplash.com, CC0/PD[/caption]
I used to work in a local restaurant. I was working there when The Passion of the Christ hit theaters, and I went with a friend from work, not having any idea what I was getting into. It’s not the type of movie that you watch and then chat about afterwards. I was Protestant at the time, and it hit me hard. I was weeping through most of it, and when it ended, my friend and I said goodbye and I headed home in the overwhelming love of so great a God.
A few years later, I joined the Catholic Church, and we watched The Passion of the Christ with a group of young adults as part of our Lenten journey. It was my first Lent ever, and made extra special because it was also my first as a Catholic. We sat in this tiny room at the parish, set up much like a living room, and we watched the film.
And, it was also the first time that I finally saw her. For some reason, even though I had seen the film before, it was the first time I had ever seen the presence of Our Lady, on the screen and in the life of Christ.
Now, I’m a mother, and my relationship with Our Lady has grown exponentially. She has covered me in her mantle so many times that I have lost count. I count on her prayers and my children know that she is their heavenly mother, interceding for them likely far more than they ask. And, I have grown to realize that there is much that I share with her but today, what presses my heart the most, is the humble invisible presence of Our Lady.
A few weeks ago, I was giving a talk to a group of mothers, and I asked them to name their favorite cinematic portrayal of a mother. What’s yours? Need a minute? We can wait. The room fell into silence for more than a few seconds.
We have forgotten the mothers, but we have never failed to expect them to be there.
There’s a temptation to think this isn’t fair. In a society that harps on entitlement and recognition, it’s easy to cry out beneath the mounds of laundry and the dinner no one ever eats, “Hey! I’m here! Just your mom! Killing myself to take care of you, this house, your dad …! Just little ol’ me. Don’t you SEE ME?” And, most of the time, those cries are unheard.
But, my dear sister, the invisibility of motherhood is a crown. It is a silent adornment to be the mother, carrying life in her womb that only she knows how to nurture, only she is aware of that life until she invites others into it. This silence extends beyond motherhood and into the feminine genius for the heart of the woman knows well the affectivity or emotion of the other, usually far sooner than our male counterparts. This silence and this lack of visibility is quite louder and much more seen than I think we are even aware.
For the woman nurtures creation with the help of God. Her friendships, her motherhood, her care, her maternity reach beyond the walls of the womb and envelop the heart. One of my favorite lines is from Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross), “A woman’s soul is fashioned as a shelter in which other souls may unfold.”
That shelter expands to house other persons – in the womb and without. And that expansion is often not seen until you’re wrapped within it. Think of the child who has fallen and skinned their knee. They run into the arms of the mother and before they know it, they are sheltered. Think of the husband dragging in from a long and tiresome day to vent about the burdens of the world to his wife, and before he knows it, he is sheltered. Think of the image of the Way of the Cross in The Passion of the Christ when Jesus is carrying His cross and stumbles into the arms of His mother, who is later seen at the foot of the cross. Even the Redeemer of the World is sheltered by her.
That moment in the film is so poignant as Jesus cradles the face of His mother and says, “Behold I make all things new.”
And sometimes we shelter and never see the ones we have sheltered become the ones who shelter. Your invisibility is not a lack. It is not a place of “not enough.” This cloak of invisibility is a gift that allows you to expand without a sound, to protect without even a whisper, to pray without disturbing, and to meet expectations before they are even known to those who expect.
So often we may be unseen by the eyes of the world, but the gift of your femininity and whatever your motherhood looks like is fully seen in the life of the Church. The Church recognized as Mother mirroring the Blessed Virgin Mary’s own maternity is a reflection of one of the greatest needs of the world – mothers.
Be the unseen mother.
Be who God created you to be and you will set the world on fire. (St. Catherine of Siena)
Copyright 2019 Rachel Bulman
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