The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. (Proverbs 15:3)We know He is in all and through all and yet He still commands our hearts make space for Him. When I stop resisting, I feel His reassurance and all my daily to-dos recede like the tide making space for the shore. Still, even in that lull I sometimes find myself pulling away – wanting to return to the concrete, the solvable, the logical, and the shallow. Sometimes it feels safer there – in the void of distraction. Copyright 2020 Lara Patangan. All rights reserved.[/caption] I find it all frustrating. It’s one thing to not know or not understand or even to be incapable. But to know, as I do, that God is the centering, the ache of the emptiness, and still want to drive across town to search for something as relatively insignificant as a coffee table because it’s tangible, can be crossed off a to-do list, and gives me a temporary rush thinking about how lovely it will look when either way the cats will be climbing on it and drinking out of the vase of flowers I keep – just makes me want to write the world’s longest run-on sentence and give up on my spiritual evolution. Yet the ache stops me from giving up and encourages my surrender. It reminds me that God won’t give up on me, and while I am a tiny bit ashamed of myself, I am also relieved that in all my failings He doesn’t fail me. So, I sit – pretending He is on the couch across from me – six inches closer than He would have been. And suddenly the coffee table I have seems to be the perfect fit.
Copyright 2020 Lara Patangan
About the Author
Lara Patangan is a freelance writer and mother of two boys. She believes the merits of mercy are among our greatest gifts as Christians. Her first book about works of mercy will be published in the spring by Our Sunday Visitor. Please visit MercyMatters.net to join this community that believes in the power of mercy to change the world.