36 Ways to Help a Mom Going Through a Hard Time

Amanda Woodiel shares 36 concrete ways to provide friendship and help to moms dealing with a crisis.

Recently, our family discovered that our oldest son has pediatric cancer. Through that I’ve learned that the body of Christ is a beautiful mosaic of talents and personalities. People have thought to bless us in ways that never would have crossed my mind (my favorite is a DVD of magic acts and props to entertain my son). I’ve also seen firsthand that every small act of kindness is magnified like the loaves and fishes. A single text, a bottle of lotion—they are each a powerful symbol of love and support. I call them “hugs from heaven,” and they can brighten my entire day.

If you are looking for ways to support someone you love, here are 36 ideas to get you started.

Food

Hot meals. Few gestures express love and care as much as a hot meal delivered to your door. Setting up a meal train for your friend makes it even easier.

Dropping off fresh in-season fruit. Soon after we discovered that Jack had a tumor that was “likely cancer,” a friend dropped off fresh peaches from the local orchard. I remember taking a bite of one and thinking, “this tastes like summer, heaven, and good things all in one.” It was a moment of pleasure in the midst of many moments of anxiety.

Dropping off baked goods. This cheers up the entire family! Some people avoid sugar during chemotherapy or other health issues, so you might want to check ahead of time in that instance.

Freezer meals. There are days that aren’t even chemo days when I am inexplicably tired. Having meals in the freezer to thaw for dinner is such a godsend.

Material help

Gas cards. We have run through literally a thousand dollars of gasoline in trips to the doctors and hospitals. Words don’t express how much I appreciate gas cards!

Money. How much more stress we would be under if we didn’t have the financial generosity of friends, family, and even bare acquaintances. It is stressful for me to even imagine it!.

Organizing fundraisers. Sometimes this is what it takes to help families pay the bills.

Offering your cabin/lake house. When you have to pay medical bills and travel expenses, you are unable to spend money on something like a family getaway for a long time, and yet a family getaway is really what you need.

Acts of service

Cleaning the kitchen. A friend comes and puts my kitchen back in order once a week. Yes, I keep up with the daily dishes, but the hand washing and the wiping down of cabinets gets pushed off. Every time she comes, I feel empowered to take on another day.

Offering to take care of animals. There are times when the family is gone for overnight hospital stays.

Offering to give haircuts. If you have this talent, offer it! Extra appointments like haircuts are not as feasible with weekly doctor’s appointments.

Baking the holiday treats. Offer to use the family’s favorite recipes to make it extra special.

Offering to wrap Christmas gifts. Some moms might want to keep this one for themselves, but some moms (like me!) would be grateful for one less thing to do.

Family pictures. I would have forgotten to do this had not my extended family arranged it for me.

Taking care of flower beds. Depending on how well you know the mom in question, you could even do this when she’s not there. I wouldn’t mind one bit coming home to someone deadheading my flowers or planting bulbs. It’s something I would not ask someone to do but would greatly appreciate.

Ask “What house project were you planning on doing before this came up?” I guarantee you that there is something lingering in the mom’s head that she had really wanted to accomplish in this season in life. Maybe you can do it for her.

Family support

Planning fun things for a child going through the hard time. He needs something to look forward to.

Taking the other kids to do fun things. There just isn’t the energy or time to take the other children to pick apples, go to the fair, or go tubing. It’s best if it’s something the sick child wouldn’t have wanted to do (or if he’s up to it, take him along!)

Watching the other kids. Offer to help during doctors’ appointments, for a date night, or so mom can get away by herself for a few hours.

Gifts to keep the kids entertained. There are days at home for illness; days at home during appointments; days at home after surgeries. Board games, puzzles, legos, books are all great ideas.

Gifts for mom during chemo days. A package from the Warrior Mama Project showed up for me in the mail, and I was flabbergasted and touched. There was a scrunchie, cozy socks, money for the vending machines, a coffee mug, a bracelet, dry shampoo, and more.

Take other kids to their activities. We try to keep life as normal as possible, as we don’t want the cancer to spread into other parts of our lives. That means our other children still have basketball practices and church events they need to get to.

Spiritual support

Organizing a novena. This was one of the best gifts early on. A friend organized two novenas for our parish community. There is no doubt in my mind that we made it through those early days by the graces of those prayers.

Giving holy oils, relics, rosaries, or other sacramentals. When you receive these items, you feel surrounded by the prayers of the saints.

Asking or texting, "How can I pray for you today?" An occasional text asking how to pray for someone lightens the load.

Texting Bible verses. Share a comforting passage you’ve come across recently or send some verses that helped you when you went through a hard time.

Spiritual reading. People in the midst of crisis might not have time or energy to go look for spiritual reading, but I was given a slim book on The Way of Trust and Love and dove right in. It seemed providential.

Offering Masses for the family/sick child. There is no more powerful prayer than this.

Emotional support

Fresh flowers. Flowers are something tangible to brighten up the home.

Cards/packages in the mail. There is still something especially comforting about snail mail. It doesn’t require an immediate response, and it’s something you can physically hold on to.

Saying, "I’m thinking of you today." It can be difficult to answer the question “how are you doing?” in a text. Most days I’m not even sure. But checking in occasionally with a text makes me feel like we’re not forgotten.

Tell her how you’ve been blessed or inspired. It’s a little easier to go through suffering when you know there are graces that are blessing others.

Offer a listening ear. The ears that I trust to listen are the ones attached to people who have regularly (even if it’s just occasionally) checked in with us. Those dear friends are my rock, and nothing can replace the support they provide by listening.

Offer to plan an evening out for friends. Sometimes I need fun more than rehashing how we are doing. An evening out to shop or to play games can lift my spirits and make me feel connected.

Songs. Send links to songs that have helped when you’ve gone through a difficult time.

Stuffed animal/blanket. There is something about a beautiful, cozy object to squeeze that helps. 

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If you are looking for ways to support someone you love, here are 36 ideas to get you started. #catholicmom

Please add in the comments below other ways you’ve been blessed when you’ve gone through something difficult!

Copyright 2022 Amanda Woodiel
Images: Canva