A Party: A Sign of Real Progress

David and Mercedes Rizzo reflect on the bigger meaning behind their older daughter's attendance at a party.

Who doesn’t remember going to a party and looking back at it with nostalgia?

Webster defines a party as a social gathering. The word "social" is an important word, especially when being social is not something that comes naturally if you have autism like our 27-year-old daughter, Daneille. A party can be an extravagant event or it can be a gathering of friends, a celebration of many things. Nonetheless, most people enjoy being at a party or being invited to one.

Last week Danielle went to a party accompanied by her sister, Shannon. The party was in honor of their future sister-in-law, Morgan. Danielle glammed herself up (new dress, hair braided, nails done) just like her sister. Shannon drove herself to the event. More planning was needed for Danielle to attend. We help her get ready, drove her there, and then figured out what we would be doing for the brief time she was attending, as we were her ride home.

We knew Danielle would be well supported at the party.

Fitting Right In

When we dropped her off, Danielle grabbed her bag and put it over her shoulder. This does not seem like a big deal, but she on her own picked up on a social cue she saw others doing. Danielle was overjoyed to be there and to be present with the others. Danielle is perceptive, even when we don’t realize it or when others don’t think that “she knows.” She often understands more than people think. Sometime her being nonverbal is mistaken for her not understanding. That is not always the case. She was excited to be there, and she wanted to be part of the party. 

We heard from Shannon that Danielle used her iPad speech app to ask social questions to some of the other guests. She likewise requested Sprite when she saw another guest drinking a cocktail. These might seem like simple things for a 27-year-old to be able to do, but a lot of work and support over the years went into her learning how to participate appropriately and enjoy such a gathering. We could see how her special-needs social groups and programs helped prepare her to show up and have a great time with only minimal prompting from her sister.

There was a time when she was younger that Danielle was rarely on the list to be invited to these types of gatherings, and we were very cautious about sending her to them. Her ability to participate at Morgan’s party, even though she required support and her attendance was brief, was a reminder to us of the real progress Danielle has made. It was a reminder to us of the need to continue to expand her horizons with more events, but on a scale manageable for her. She will always need some modifications or even a briefer time frame but the attempt should be made so that she will develop increasing levels of independence.

It Was a Wonderful Night

This party was a wonderful celebration of Morgan, who was surrounded by her besties and family. Morgan was gracious to Danielle as she always is and generous with her time in understanding the way Danielle communicates and interacts. Most importantly, Morgan included Danielle and Danielle clearly recognized that. This reminds us of the words often attributed to Mother Teresa: “Let no one come to you without leaving better and happier; be the living expression of God’s kindness.”

As parents, we were happy to be able to stand back and watch Danielle as a young woman attending a party first and a person with autism second.

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Copyright 2026 David and Mercedes Rizzo
Images: (top two) Canva; all others copyright 2026 David and Mercedes Rizzo, all rights reserved.