A Question of Trust

After a recent conversation with her patient, Jen Scheuermann recalls a time when she was the patient years ago. 

Most days, I’m the clinician. 

I opened the door to the exam room and, greeting my patient, stepped inside. I’d seen him for the first time just a few weeks before, and since then he’d had several tests done. Sitting down opposite him I took great care to explain his results and their significance. He had two potential options for treatment; one involved monitoring, the other involved medication. I recommended he take the medicine, but this recommendation was not made lightly. He was young, and after starting the medicine he would likely need it lifelong. I wanted to help him understand the risks and benefits of both taking and not taking it.

I wanted him to know my recommendation, but also that he did have options and the choice was his. I finished speaking and sat back, ready to answer any questions he might have. But he had no questions. Instead, with a sense of peace I could not miss, he replied with a statement that somehow transported me to a different room, in a different hospital, seventeen years ago.  

“I will do what you recommend,” he said. “You know more about this than me. I trust that God led me to you.” 

On that day, I was the patient. 

“It’s time to have a baby!” my doctor announced joyfully after checking my progress. Her words confirmed what my body was already telling me. So with my husband on my left and mother on my right, I tried focusing not on my pain, but on the fact that I’d soon meet the little one I had pictured for the past nine months.

But while her first statement had been expected, her next statement was not. “Your baby is breech. We have a decision to make. You can try to deliver. Or I can do a C-section.” As she spoke all of my knowledge evaporated. Anxiety quickly set in as I realized my baby’s birth was not following the course I expected.

My doctor calmly explained the risks of both options, but at that moment I knew only one thing: I could not make this decision. So, deferring to her judgement, I responded. 

“I will do what you recommend. You know more about this than me.” 

But on all days, the issue is the same. 

At first I didn’t question why the conversation with my patient reminded me of my son’s birth so long ago. They were similar, after all. Both called for a medical decision to be made by someone who knew the person caring for them had more knowledge than they. But when these two scenes continued running through my mind several days later I pondered what God was trying to reveal. Slowly I came to see that, though similar, it was actually the difference between these two scenes that God wanted me to see — and the difference was rooted entirely in trust.   

When I first met my patient, I had noticed a crucifix hanging from his neck. Then, it was the only visible sign of his faith. But on his second visit, the words he spoke confessed the very depth of his faith as he revealed exactly where his trust lies. Aware he didn’t know enough to make the best decision, he followed my recommendation — but more so, he trusted God. And this trust allowed great peace to radiate from him as he deferred to me and my training.  

I, on the other hand, trusted myself. And when I found myself in a position where my knowledge was insufficient, I looked for the next best qualified person and placed my trust in her. At first glance my deferral to my doctor’s recommendation looked identical to the action of my patient, but I now see the position of our hearts and where we each placed our trust could not have been more different.

And I could not miss that, at the moment we were each called to make a decision, the inner peace my patient held on to and the anxiety that filled me were the respective fruits of where we had placed our trust. 

Lord, today and every day, help me place my trust in You. And may this trust lead to great peace as I rest in the knowledge that I am always in Your hands.

For everyone reading this, know that I’m praying the same for you. 

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Copyright 2024 Jennifer Scheuermann
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