A Work of Mercy for Every Catholic, in November and Beyond

Sherry Hayes-Peirce details more than ten creative ways any Catholic can pray for the dead and assist the grieving.

In our Church's liturgical calendar, November is dedicated to praying for the dead. As a woman who is three years on my grief journey for my husband, 26 years on my grief journey for my father, and 18 years on my grief journey for my grandmother, I have developed many traditions to pray for the dead.

After the death of my husband, though, I was invited to practice the Corporal Work of Mercy, Burying the Dead. I think most of us have an image of digging a hole or preparing the body for burial. When we see that sentence in the Jewish tradition, that is its meaning. In the Catholic tradition, we have bereavement ministry. I have served as a bereavement minister for two and a half years now, and this has helped me heal and allowed me to use my gifts to provide comfort and consolation to grieving families.

My parish, which has more than 6,000 families, has four teams serving as bereavement ministers. We are invited to sign up to cover one or two weeks a month, which covers a quarter of the year, so you typically don’t know every family. The minister helps the family of the deceased select the readings, cantor, songs, prayer of the faithful, lectors, gift bearers, Eucharistic Ministers, and eulogists. Other aspects of the Mass we provide guidance on are designing a worship aid, prayer cards, floral arrangements, and placing the pall, whether the remains are present in an urn or casket. Some of you may think I could never meet with a grieving family, but there are other roles that you may have the gift to provide.

null

What gifts can you use to bury the dead and console the sorrowful?

Are you retired?

If so, this may be an excellent use of your gift of time to serve in ministry. Many funerals are held during the week, and many of my Mass funeral team members are retired.

Do you serve as a cantor or choir member?

Singing is an integral part of the Mass celebration, and the usual cantors often can’t serve on a weekday. I created a video with 3-4 minutes of each of our cantors to share with the family, and they choose the style they wish to have at their Mass.

Are you a lector?

I have served at funerals with as few as seven attendees to five hundred. Sometimes, some families don’t have anyone to read their chosen scriptures, and we invite someone from our lector ministry to serve. I have served at some of the funerals.

Are you a sacristan?

Again, these ministers are available on Sundays, and finding them to serve on other days of the week can be challenging. Becoming a trained sacristan for funerals is a generous gift to your parish.

Can you serve as an altar server?

At my parish, we use adult altar servers to participate in the funeral Mass. Again, the availability of children to serve during the week limits available ministers.

Are you an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion (Eucharistic Minister)?

Having the priest serve alone is fine when funerals are small, but four or more may be needed for a large funeral. Serving as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion is an important role. Often, a significant number of the mourners may not be Catholic, and a blessing is offered to help everyone feel like they are a part of the celebration of the Mass. Without enough ministers of Holy Communion, the longer lines can prolong the Mass.

Are you a people person?

Serving as a hospitality minister who greets everyone as they come in with a welcoming smile and worship aid is a powerful way to model our faith tradition of making all feel welcome.

Do you bake?

Many families host a gathering in the parish hall after a funeral. Some call it a reception, others a repast. Providing a dessert is a sweet gesture. Some churches call them cookie or baking ministry.

null

Start a ministry for the dead and the grieving

I started a ministry for widows. Although our parish had a general bereavement group, in such a large parish, we have over 200 widows, and our journey is very different. The group allows the women to share a trial or triumph on their journey. The sharing has been so helpful to each of us, and it has helped us form a community. You could start one, too!

Maybe the ministry you create is simply to send a card on the anniversary of the death of those who have had funerals at your parish. It touches the hearts of those who mourn to have someone remember their loved one has died a year later, when the people close to them often forget.

Most parishes offer novenas for you to participate in for all the dearly departed. Pray my novena for widows and widowers in the Hallow App.

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

A Work of Mercy for Every Catholic, in November and Beyond