Elizabeth Estrada ponders how she can learn to lean on the Lord, to let Him carry her burdens.
Be kind to yourself … really.
The last couple of weeks have been hard on me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I am taking a course on line for Montessori certification, which is exciting but challenging and also dealing withthe usual challenges of life.
As a mom, like many of us, I wish I could do more for my son as he faces challenges within the family structure and deals with his anxiety. I always think that I am leaning on the Lord on a daily basis and that I am “handling” things the way I think that I should.
In my mind, I keep telling myself that my focus is to be there for my son and support him in any way that he needs. But sadly, I discovered that I am not just to “lean” on the Lord. I am invited to let Him carry me and my burdens.
How did I discover this? It was more like a wake up call from my physical body. In the last month, I have had bronchitis, sciatica issues, and finally a reflux flare-up. I felt exhausted physically and in all honesty depressed.
I had to sit with the Lord and have an honest to goodness conversation. I was very disappointed in myself, “Lord, why am I falling apart? Am I not trusting You enough?"
The answer was clear: you need to give yourself the grace that you give your son to not handle it and give it all to Me! This is what I heard the Lord say to me.
Why is it that I can tell others to embrace the pain, to let go, to say, 'Lord I can’t but You can'?
The reality is that I am my worst enemy. I don’t think that I deserve to “not handle” things or not have the answers. All of my feelings of overload and despair were not from the Lord. They were me believing the whispers of the snake.
So, I have decided to look for verses in the Bible to read every day to remind me that the Lord is my shade, my refuge, and my rock. He loves me as I am if I just let Him.
What is He inviting you to?
Copyright 2020 Elizabeth Estrada
Image: Pixabay (2019)
About the Author
Elizabeth Estrada, a public school teacher, is an avid reader and enjoys crafting. She serves as a Catechist and resides in the Diocese of Dallas with her son Agustin.