Be Open to Grace from Unexpected Places

Monica Portogallo describes how God used a desire to start playing guitar to teach her a spiritual lesson. 

I’m in the midst of a small midlife crisis of sorts. Thankfully, mine doesn’t involve extravagant purchases, plastic surgery, or dating a man half my age. I just woke up on my birthday with a strong, unprecedented desire to play the guitar.   

Aside from asking a good-looking male friend in college to teach me a few chords in a feeble attempt at flirting, I had never really had a desire to play before. For whatever reason, that morning, I felt the urge to learn to play the guitar my former husband had left behind in our living room. Of late, all the poor instrument gets to do is sit in a stand, gather dust, and tempt toddlers to break it. 

Nudges from God  

At first I dismissed it as silly — I don’t have the money for guitar lessons for myself, and I have no use for learning a new instrument at my age. At Mass the next day, though, my toddler flipped through the hymnal and opened it directly to "Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring." I love the melody, especially on classical guitar, but the hymn is tainted for me because my father walked me down the aisle to it. The thought came into my head that I needed to create a new memory for this song. Learning to play it on guitar could be a good way to do some healing.  

Later that night, at my birthday dinner with family, my sister gave me a very generous check as a birthday gift, telling me I had to spend it on something fun for myself. I then saw what was happening: God was getting rid of the obstacles I had placed for myself. 

Out of my comfort zone  

When I contacted the music school where my son takes drum lessons, though, they told me my son’s very patient teacher was not available on the night I had childcare, but they had another teacher available then. Uneasily, I agreed, but in my mind I kept searching for excuses to cancel. When I started to think that I needed to find some videos online to prepare for my lesson so I wouldn’t look stupid, I realized what was going on.  

Learning something completely new, with someone I had never met, made me feel vulnerable. I started thinking about my life, and these days it is pretty rare for me to be in situations where I don’t know what I’m doing. If I’m brutally honest with myself, I intentionally avoid them. Clearly, God was telling me I needed to stop this habit.  

So I went to my lesson. My teacher was equally as patient as my son's teacher. I was able to laugh at my understandable awkwardness. I survived, and I learned something new.

Be open  

The next Sunday at Mass, our pastor’s homily was all about “ephphatha” or “be open.” All the pieces then fell into place. In my life, I was not being open to God’s will in the way I needed to. I was resisting doing things outside my comfort zone, and God can’t fully use me when I cling to only the familiar and safe. God showed me through my mini midlife crisis that I needed to be more open.  

I urge everyone reading this to consider the ways we might not be open to God. Let’s remove those obstacles so that we can let God's grace flow through us. 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2024 Monica Portogallo
Images: Canva