Bearing Witness

Brianna Heldt considers how the most important work mothers can do is to lead by her everyday faithful example.

Edith Stein, the Jewish philosopher who converted to Catholicism and became Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, once wrote:

To cherish, guard, protect, nourish and advance growth is [woman’s] natural, maternal yearning. (Essays on Women) 

These are lovely words, particularly for modern mothers raising children and building homes worthy of a feminine genius’ calling. Mothers long to do meaningful, productive work as they shape and form the souls in their care. Edith Stein had it right.  

Advancing Growth by Bearing Witness

In fact, the more I contemplate motherhood in general (my oldest child is 21 years old), the more certain I am that so much of how we “advance growth” is to simply bear witness to the lives of our children. Mothers may labor and toil under the illusion that we are in control of them from the day they’re born, but reality and my own lived experience would suggest otherwise: I’ve had three miscarriages, I have two children presently battling a multitude of chronic and baffling health issues, and my 6-year-old refuses to pick up after himself. Every single one of my kids — twelve in total, four of them adopted — has a different temperament, set of strengths, and profile of needs, with that last one changing by the day (or, more often, the moment.)     

Many years ago, as a brand-new mom, I thought I was somehow completely “in charge” of all things related to my children. But now, I feel as if I’m essentially along for the ride. I wish I had a dollar (or even just a dime) for every time I have stood in a kid’s room and said, “I wish I could fix this, but I know that I can’t.” I wish I’d not had to drop off my college freshman this past fall with a freshly-torn ACL, which necessitated surgery all the way across the country from me. I wish I could heal all the illnesses, prevent all the disappointments, and yes, turn my young son into a kid who naturally likes to clean up his toys. But I can’t. Sometimes all I can do is simply be there.   

I often think of Jesus’ mother Mary, at the foot of the cross, watching in horror as her beloved adult child was put to death. In Christ’s final moments, unable to relieve his physical, psychological, and spiritual anguish, Mary stood helplessly by, bearing witness to not only the power of Jesus and His redemption of the broken world but also to the mystery and power of motherhood. It is a modern myth that to be a mother is to orchestrate a particular outcome for our children. Instead we, like Mary, are asked by God to watch and pray and be present, especially when things are painful, difficult, and confusing.      

Finding Beauty in Painful Times  

But there is beauty in these dark spaces, too. As women and mothers, we tend to quite naturally orient ourselves toward the virtue of hope. We possess the potential for cultivating and then bringing into reality a beautiful vision for home and hearth, for family life, for joy and humor and levity on the one hand, and empathy and nurture on the other. We, like Mary, bear witness to the sufferings and fears at the foot of the cross but also to the joy and hope of the Resurrection.     

Regardless of what we mothers face, we can move forward clinging to Christ, to His Church, and to His mother Mary. Only when we surrender our hopes and dreams for our children to God, consciously placing their lives in His loving and merciful hands, can we embrace motherhood in its totality. It is through properly understanding and contextualizing my identity as a mother — not shouldering a greater burden than I am called to and instead focusing on the very simple yet profound calling of my vocation, which is nothing more and nothing less than a call to love — that I can live each day empowered, content, and dare I say, happy. This does not mean there won’t be moments of anguish at the foot of the cross, but if I keep my eyes on Christ, His love for me, and His love for my children, I can accept with open hands His mysterious unfolding plans for them, and for my family.   

So I will continue to bear witness. And I can see each new season as a beautiful beginning of sorts: not necessarily free from suffering or loss, but certainly a tangible sign that a good and loving God is faithful to His promise to “make all things new” for me and my children.    

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Copyright 2025 Brianna Heldt
Images: (top, bottom) Canva; (center) iStock, licensed for use by Holy Cross Family Ministries