Being Vulnerable with God

Caitlan Rangel reflects on how we might be tempted to treat hard emotions and how God wants to heal and guide us through our emotions.

What do you do with hard emotions? 

Do you consider your emotions to be gifts given by God and able to lead you to God?  

Historically, I don’t quite know what to do with emotions that are more difficult to feel. Things like anger, frustration, sadness, and loneliness. 

My responses to these emotions have been varied, and often not integrated.  

I have: kept them in, under the surface and not expressed them but allowed them to shift my mood; closed off from people around me and allowed the emotions to shape what I believe about myself and others; become defensive; confused my emotions for sin. 

But the Holy Spirit has been guiding me, asking me to notice and try a new way. This has happened over the course of months (really, years) and through other people, namely priests and women religious, speaking lovingly and practically to my heart. 

Armor on My Heart 

I went to the Fiat Conference in October and Father Edmund, a Norbertine priest, gave my favorite talk. On one level, I came to the conference excited to hear talks, sell books, and be with a dear friend who lives out of state. On a deeper level, I came feeling lonely for close friendship. And I don’t know about you, but loneliness is not something I enjoy feeling. 

Father Edmund spoke with humor on the challenging emotions we may feel each day and shared his experiences of feeling frustrated/annoyed/irritated with fellow Father Anonymous.  

Instead of pushing these kinds of emotions aside, shoving them down, or shaming ourselves for our emotions, Father Edmund asked us to consider them as from God and to bring them to God in conversation. 

When we do this, an emotion may intensify for a period of time as we allow ourselves to actually feel whatever it is. But, by bringing it to God, God can direct it and use it for our good. I think here of how God desires to comfort and heal us in places that initially can be difficult to inhabit. 

This all sounds like something I’d like to be on board with, and also, practically speaking, I have found it can be challenging for me to be this vulnerable with God. I put armor on my heart because it is hard to be vulnerable, and now I am supposed to take the armor off and hand my heart to God?  

Yes. 

Three Questions 

Sister Miriam James Heidland, SOLT, speaks on healing and how we can bring the tender places of our hearts and lives to God. On an Abiding Together podcast episode on cultivating peace, Sister Miriam said when she feels something that might be challenging or bring up past hurts, she asks these three questions:  

What am I feeling?  

What am I believing? 

Where is Jesus? 

If I look at some of the places I experience anxiety or emotions that are harder for me to process, these are a couple of examples of how I respond to Sister Miriam’s questions: 

I am feeling like my homeschool is chaos. I am believing that my kids don’t respect me and we are not doing a good job. Jesus, help me to not react out of my own insecurities; help me to remember why we homeschool; and help me remember I love my children and they love me. 

I am feeling anxious about what my family eats and what I eat. I am believing that if it isn’t healthy enough we are going to get sick, like my mom got cancer seemingly out of the blue. Jesus, remind me that You were faithful to us even in our suffering, that you will take care of us in everything, and that nourishment is a gift. 

Remaining 

It is not easy for me to feel some of these emotions without immediately trying to qualify them or shove them to the side. 

But I am finding that if I intentionally remain with them for just a moment, acknowledge how they affect my body and mind, and ask Jesus to be with me in them, a new space opens up. 

A space where I am not alone. A space that is not enclosed in the dark but open to a breath of fresh air or a stream of light. A space where I don’t have to blame or shame myself or others, but where I can find rest and be held in the secure arms of love.  

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Copyright 2025 Caitlan Rangel
Images: Canva