Book Review: True Friendship

Maria V. Gallagher explores a book which delves into the traits of lasting friendship.

I’ve heard that we have friends for a reason and, sometimes, for just a season. But at times I have been bewildered by the friendship-making process. How can it be that I am Facebook friends with a woman I met all the way back in kindergarten? Why is it so hard to make new friends after college graduation? Why do some friends leave — and others stay?

True Friendship

The book True Friendship: Where Virtue Becomes Happiness addresses a number of the questions that have been lingering in my mind regarding lasting friendships. In the preface to the book’s second edition, author John Cuddeback notes:

Though this book was originally geared toward the young and will still speak powerfully to them, this revised edition is for all ages.

Cuddeback points to the wisdom of the ancients about friendship. For instance, the philosopher Aristotle, Cuddeback writes, “has made clear that living in true friendship is equivalent to human happiness.” This rings true to me, since I have found that some of my happiest times have been spent in the company of my friends. Whether it was volunteering together as team members for a retreat, or just sharing a laugh and a cup of java at a coffee shop, fellowship with friends has raised my spirits immensely.

But what about those instances when friendships seem to go off the rails? Happiness seems elusive when your bestie has “ghosted” you — disappearing from your life without so much as a text goodbye. Cuddeback states:

The problem here is usually that one or both persons expected the kind of communion, or meeting of souls, that comes only in a full friendship, or a virtuous friendship, as Aristotle calls it.

Virtuous friendship occurs when mutual good will is based on the goodness, or virtue, of the two people involved. In other words, Cuddeback writes, when you fall short in virtue, you will also fall short in true friendship. Consequently, the better people we are, the better we will be at friendship.

To me, this revelation is a game-changer. Instead of bemoaning the lack of a gal pal to accompany me on my shopping adventures (or misadventures), I need to focus on enhancing my own virtue in order to be ready when a potential friend comes along.

Cuddeback also stresses the important of friendship within families. Certainly, it’s the height of happiness when you can call your mate your best friend. And when siblings are fast friends, family life can seem like a heaven on earth.

The wise counsel and refreshing insights in 'True Friendship' will help you become a sought-after friend and confidant. #catholicmom

If you’re interested in exploring the spiritual aspects of having and being a friend, True Friendship is a book you will want to put on your spring reading list. Its wise counsel and refreshing insights will help you become a sought-after friend and confidant.