Boundaries and the Sheep Fold

Helen Syski explores the question of whether setting boundaries is a Christian act.

Christ’s life is an example of giving without heeding the cost, of kenosis, of dying to self. When we look to do God’s will and discern not to give, whether it is our time, talent or treasure, are we really hearing His voice? Does the voice of Jesus ever ask us to conserve, hold back, rest? Doubt creeps in, especially when we find ourselves in a season of no. Is there such a thing in the Christian life? 

The Thief and Robber 

“Amen, amen I say to you, whoever does not enter a sheepfold through the gate but climbs over elsewhere is a thief and a robber. But whoever enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens it for him, and the sheep hear his voice, as he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” (John 10:1-3)

Jesus goes on to call Himself both the Good Shepherd and the Gate.  

This is a beautiful scriptural description of healthy boundaries in a healthy, holy soul. We are the gatekeepers of our soul. The only entrance or exit is through Jesus and at His command. If we do not mend our fences and keep others from forcing entry, we are not being good stewards for the Good Shepherd. We must keep the gate oiled with prayer, the latch strong and responsive with grace.

How can the flock grow if they are in danger to thieves, robbers … or straying out of the pasture through the broken rails of neglect? How will they be brought to market, or sheared for their wool if they are not under the safety of their Shepherd when they leave the pasture?  

We are bombarded with requests, needs, demands, opinions. Wisdom requires us to discern which of these are thieves, robbers, or a fencepost fallen over in decay.  

“A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

God wants us to have abundant life. He wants to fill us to the brim, because we cannot give what we do not have. If you are full to the bursting, trust that He will show you where to pour it out! If you are empty and broken, trust that He wants abundance for you, that your time to give will come again. Heed His voice if He is calling to you to mend your fence and guard the gate!  

God of freedom  

We find ourselves by giving. But what is essential to gift is freedom. By God’s design, freedom is a defining feature of our human soul. He gave us free will that we may not just serve Him but love Him. Love can only exist where it is a free movement of the soul; a choice, yes, but one that pours from an abundance within.   

Hell is the surety that He will not extort communion from us. When we do not have good boundaries, life is hell because we have given up our free will, given it over others. Rather than communion with our Lord, we have chosen to place everyone else above Him, to talk to everyone else but Him.  

Whole vessels   

When we do not have healthy boundaries, we are cracked vessels that cannot hold water. When we seal those cracks, we once again become a vessel which can hold “a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing” (Luke 6:38) to be poured out to others by God. If we are always allowing His grace and gifts to drain through cracks in our vessels we will never fill, and we cannot be His good measure.   

Remember it takes time to seal a cracked vessel, and during mending there is a time when it can hold nothing. Do not lament that time — recognize that God has deemed you worthy of repair. He holds you gently in His hands and desires to fashion you anew. 

Listen for His voice  

Use the many methods of discerning His voice from the clamor of other’s opinions, your own weakness, and the world’s noise. Ignatian discernment of spirits, Galatians 5:19-24, the Ten Commandments and the Catechism are some of the proven ways to know God’s voice. Then go within to the stillness of your heart and you will know God. He will speak in a way that knows you intimately. Then, follow Him. 

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Copyright 2024 Helen Syski
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