Called to Be Caregivers

What does caregiving mean to the people in our lives? Bonnie Drury sees opportunities everywhere.

The Patron Saint of Caregivers is Saint John the Evangelist (Apostle). Remember the poignant moment at the Cross when Jesus told John, “Behold your mother” (John 19:27). He wanted the apostle He loved to care for Mary. We are all called to be caregivers in some way, at some point in our lives. How do we handle this most sacred gift?

Spouses

Yes, we are caregivers to our husbands, and they to us. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 explains it better than I can:

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

Children

A child is a gift from God. As much as we love our children, there will still be times when our patience runs thin. You’re human. The most important truth to pass along to those little angels is that they are loved. And be there, in mind and body.

Friends and Neighbors

Have you spent an hour on the phone with a friend who has suffered heartbreak? Have you noticed a lonely neighbor and taken over some homemade soup? Even the smallest gestures of kindness are acts of caregiving and can make a big difference.

Parents

This is a tough one because it’s usually an end-of-life situation. My parents were married for 74 years, but the last three were agonizing when my mother was diagnosed with dementia.

My father was optimistic. “Let’s keep praying. God will answer.”

I responded, “But Dad, sometimes the answer is no. We have to learn to deal with what is.”

Simple rules from the Alzheimer’s Association, when caring for those with dementia are: Don’t worry them. Don’t hurry them. Don’t hesitate to say “sorry.” If they get mad, step back. If they feel sad, step forward. NEVER EVER ARGUE. Don’t answer questions and accusations. Distract with memories of good times. Don’t take their words and actions personally. Be grateful for small successes.

Siblings

Both my brother and my husband’s were alcoholics. It’s a tough way to go. But still, I could cook for them so they’d eat. My husband ran errands and gave them rides to the doctor. When each one was nearing the end, we asked about their relationships with Jesus. We learned that each one had made his peace with God, which in turn, gave us peace.

Homeless

What a terrible thing, to see so many without homes, without comforts, without hope. We can pray, we can give to Loaves and Fishes and other charities that help the homeless, and we can go out to individuals and ask what they need. Sometimes, it’s simply that they want to be seen as a valuable person, a soul who hungers to be recognized.

Ourselves

Last, but certainly not least, we need to take care of ourselves. As we care for others, we’re going to feel lost, discouraged, depressed, angry, and exhausted. Then we’ll feel guilty about that. Don’t be too hard on yourself. This is normal.

God wants us to care for others, but he also wants us to love ourselves, the person He created. Get rest, seek spiritual respite, forgive yourself, and then pick yourself up and keep trying to do your best.

Love is … caring.

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Copyright 2026 Bonnie Drury
Images: Canva