Channel God's Courage and Advocate for Your Needs

Cassidy Van Slyke Blenke considers moms' need to bravely seek respite when they need to rest and recharge.

Motherhood is an entirely selfless journey. We turn our bodies, souls, and youth over to our human byproducts, surrendering to filling their lives with love and comfort. Most of my immediate thoughts surround the safety and well-being of my children: is everything okay with them? Are they having fun at school? Are their friends including them? Do you think they are loved, safe, special, and secure?

When I’m hazed with the normalized exhaustion that accompanies the life of a responsible mom, my thoughts drift off to the long-ago moments when my sole responsibility was showing up to work, when I could take an impromptu walk to the movies on Saturday, attend three-hour long brunches with my best gal pals, or even better, have nights where I had no plans and allowed the exuberance of youth to guide me on new adventures.

Back then, I was obliviously consumed with living my life for me and whatever made me happy. Sure, I knew there might be a time when things changed, but I didn’t bother myself with that until things slowly began to shift, mostly without realizing that I had begun to open my heart to the possibility of living my life for more than myself.

God’s grace and the Holy Spirit pointed my life compass in the opposite direction of where I was headed, encouraging me to embrace kindness and faith and allow love in, which resulted in me finding myself and my life pathway intersecting with my husband. Together we chose the beautiful, selfless act of creating our own family and were blessed to pass our love on to the next generation.

Most days, I am eternally grateful that I am given the grace to be a strong mother, a true mama bear, using all my life experiences to celebrate the loveliness of my four littles. But then there are those really hard moments that suddenly come out of nowhere, where the well of patience runs dry, and mustering up one more ounce of caregiving and pleasantries becomes utterly impossible. Moments when my clothes are covered in vomit, kids’ food, smeared diaper cream, and who knows what else, and my normally type-A organized personality starts dropping the ball, and then someone has a fever, text messages start piling up, and parent life seems like a lot to manage. I find myself gazing upward with desperation, pleading that I need a break and to feel like myself again.

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In times of need, God gives me the courage to reach out. I find a way to coordinate care and drive myself to the gym, where I sweat out my emotions and connect with others. I reach out to my fellow mom army and coordinate a girl's night out or maybe, treat myself to a new dress that makes me channel the young woman that is sometimes buried deep inside me.

While we are so busy giving our souls to our children and dedicating our energy toward helping others, we can temporarily lose sight of ourselves and our needs until we are completely drained, tired, and defeated. I implore you to channel God’s love and courage and to advocate for your needs. Call a family member to watch your kids for the evening, and allow yourself the freedom to go to brunch with your besties.

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In times of need, God gives me the courage to reach out. #CatholicMom

For me, longing for those long-ago moments doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom, but it helps me shift my perspective, realizing how much I’ve accomplished as a woman and mother. By making an effort to say, “Hey, I need a break” and communicating your needs to others, you are creating space to be a more present mama and become your ultimate blessed and beautiful self!

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