Confession: An Essential Part of a Catholic Family’s Survival Plan

Christine Hanus claims that without childhood Confession, her young adult kids (probably) wouldn’t be following Christ today. 

We parents can learn so much from Saint John Bosco (1815-1888) whose ideas of forming and educating youth, especially boys, were revolutionary and wildly effective. He was teacher, confessor, mentor, and friend to hundreds, especially ministering to boys who came from broken homes and/or were destitute. Many of these young men went on to become priests, bishops, and devote Catholic laymen.  

When it comes to the Sacraments, Don Bosco was crystal clear. He told young people, “You should not think you have a sincere devotion until you go willingly to confession and Communion” (Pietro Stella, Don Bosco: Religious Outlook and Spirituality). He offered Confession (the Sacrament of Reconciliation) frequently and encouraged his boys to go often. 

Do We Really Comprehend What Confession Can Mean for Children? 

When my children were young, we attended a family retreat. During the course of the morning, it was announced that the Sacrament of Reconciliation would take place before the afternoon session. My 9-year-old son had evidently made a note of this information and as we headed back into the church after lunch, he hurried up to me and blurted out, “Where is the confession stand?”  

I realized his involvement with Little League had him a bit mixed up, but I pointed toward the confessional where the priest was waiting, and I watched my son practically run to it. I knew something serious must be on his mind.  

I thank God my 9-year-old son knew that the Sacrament of Reconciliation was given to us to help us in the spiritual battles of life. Thank God that he didn’t wait another ten, twenty, thirty years to go to confession, denying himself of the grace he would so desperately need every day as a pre-teen, a teenager and finally, a husband and father.  

When people ask me what the secret to raising Catholic kids was (I have five young adult children), one part of the answer is always frequent confession.  

Encourage Your Children to Seek This Sacrament 

There are two things you must do if you want your children to experience the healing power of the Sacrament of Reconciliation: 

Teach Them 

We need to teach our children what confession is and how it works! (Also, they need to know that they must confess all their mortal sins in order to make a good confession.)  

Don’t think school or religious education will teach them this. Parents must do it.  

Take Them 

We need to take them to confession frequently and go to confession ourselves. Aim for once a month. This is what the Church recommends, and I find that if I delay in going, it becomes more and more difficult to get around to it. 

Nothing can take the place of the Sacrament of Reconciliation in our lives and the lives of our children. Jesus gave us this sacrament as part of our fundamental survival plan here on planet earth. We either believe in the power of the sacrament or we don’t. If we believe, we will go and we will take our children. And we will be given the grace we need to be happy, healthy, and strong. 

The Battle is Real, but the Father Has a Plan. (Whew!) 

We must regularly remind our children that a battle is taking place for their souls. Remember, if your children are “good kids,” Satan and his cohort will try to make them think they don’t need Confession.    

If, on the other hand, your children are flamboyant commandment breakers, the evil one will try to make them feel unforgivable and discouraged. It will be your job to help them see that they have an enemy who is trying to trick them and to help them see how much the Father loves them! (Read the Prodigal Son story together from Luke 15:11-32.)  

When your children are struggling with repeating the same sins, remind them that perseverance, getting up when we fail, even if we fail repeatedly, is normal. Eventually, if we persevere in repenting and try again, we will conquer! We will win the war against the world, the flesh, and the devil, and we will find the kind of mental and spiritual peace and equilibrium that leads to true happiness. This has been the Father’s plan for us from the beginning! 

TIP: Use a good examination of conscience for kids to help you help your children know what they ought to confess. Read more about Confession and how to prepare as an older child or adult.

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Copyright 2025 Christine Hanus
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