Coping with Betrayal and Heartbreak Through Prayer

By praying continually, Hillary Ibarra finds the strength to move forward after betrayal. 

For much of this year I have felt like the snow monkey in a photo I clipped and stuck on my fridge: red face, wild hair, a frosty, grumpy attitude. When I first saw this monkey’s picture, I laughed and thought, It’s me! 

Over the past several months, I have tramped through the toughest times of my life. I have never truly experienced heartbreak before this year, and its effects brutalized me. Because of this, I am coping with serious trust issues, too. The revelations of this year have caused me terrible pain but brought me out of falsehood and into the truth. Through them, I have faced my need to become more like Jesus in love, mercy, and humility. And I thought I was so much closer on that journey! 

How am I moving forward after heartbreak? 

I pray without ceasing. 

Prayer sustains me daily. Constant prayer. Morning and evening prayer. Family prayer. Prayer at Mass. Prayer during reconciliation. Weekly Stations of the Cross during Lent. Prayer with my husband at night and in Eucharistic Adoration. The Divine Mercy Chaplet. Family Rosaries on Sunday. Prayer from the depths of my heart and soul in moments of deep discouragement (and there have been many).  

I have been more honest with God about my thoughts and feelings than I have ever been, and I have a more genuine relationship with Him because of it. When I told Him I didn’t want a certain person in my life anymore, I felt His gentle response: Well, I want him. When I told Him this person did not deserve me, I felt His gentle nudging again: Did you deserve Jesus? 

Through, with, and in Jesus, God is helping me to forgive. 

Many times, I have pleaded with God to be patient with me as I battle to be more loving, merciful, and humble like Jesus. I have failed repeatedly this year in my words and actions, ensnared by intense emotions, discouraging thoughts, and a resentful attitude. These confrontations with my own weaknesses have caused additional pain. 

I read once in a book that it is the Holy Spirit Who gives us the courage to get up and try again after we fail. I believe this is true with all my being. Satan wants us to stay down and to give up, to be quitters. But God does not give up on us, nor does He will for us to give up on ourselves or others. His power is made perfect in our weakness, as Saint Paul said. We are precious to Him, and Jesus will help us if we cast our cares upon Him as Saint Peter advised. 

Forgiveness is not a momentary inspiration, easy in its realization, but it is a resolution and a process that we must embrace by bringing our hurts, our hearts, and our devastating memories to the foot of the Cross again and again while praying for those who caused us pain and praying for our own conversion of mind and heart. 

We can only conquer the tribulation we experience in this world through, with, and in Christ. That includes saving damaged relationships marred by betrayal. 

Jesus understands betrayal 

It is impossible for us to restore our broken relationships on our own. We need Jesus. I never realized how greatly I needed Him until this terrible, tumultuous year that jeopardized one of my most important relationships. 

One night while struggling to fall asleep, I remembered the betrayal that Jesus experienced during His Passion, and I sobbed, understanding my Lord’s pain more fully through my own experience. 

I am human, and I sin against others, but Jesus was wholly innocent, and He still experienced betrayal by His closest friends. He knows what deep and shocking betrayal feels like. He understands. 

Yet He forgave. He prayed for His enemies from the Cross. He trusted Peter — who denied Him three times — to lead His Church.  

As I cope with betrayal by someone I love and struggle daily to forgive and to believe a better relationship is being built, I trust Jesus to see me through, to help me grow, and to teach me to forgive as He does. He is the source of everything good and lasting. Only God can redeem evil situations and damaged relationships and bring about good through suffering. Jesus gave suffering meaning. It is not fruitless. Through His grace and by His power, all can be renewed and restored if we embrace our cross and follow Him.  

Striving to follow Him, I soldier on and keep praying. 

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Copyright 2024 Hillary Ibarra
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