Cultivating Your Spiritual Life: Grow in Intimacy with God

Susan Ciancio shares ideas for opening our hearts to God and encouraging our families to do the same.

Divine intimacy — that deeply spiritual relationship that we have with our Heavenly Father — requires daily effort. It involves getting to know God’s heart while allowing Him to truly see ours. And though it takes work, the joy we find when we cultivate this relationship will sustain and buoy us throughout our lives, no matter what we face. 

Not only that, but that joy will radiate outward, changing minds and hearts. However, if we don’t first take care of our own spiritual lives, we cannot hope to help others strengthen theirs.  

God Wants to Know our Hearts 

God is always with us. But can we say that we are always with God? As flawed human beings, we occasionally walk away, become lukewarm, or we outright reject Him. Sometimes we react to the difficult things in our lives by asking, “Where is God in all this?” We allow the world to tell us that a “good father” wouldn’t allow his children to suffer. We allow the world to harden our hearts. 

That’s exactly what Satan wants.  

But we must remember that everyone suffers; life is not perfect. Yet God doesn’t cause suffering. The sinful nature of human beings does that. 

God allows suffering, and He hopes that we use it to grow closer to Him, to rely on Him, and to become even stronger in the knowledge that He loves us. Even Jesus suffered. Think about the beatings, the nails, the crown of thorns, and the dehydration from hanging on the cross for hours. And then think about how He suffers when we walk away from Him. 

Why does this cause Him to suffer? Because He loves us more than we can ever fathom. If we ever need proof of this love, we need only look at the crucifix. 

Nurture your Relationship 

Assured in God’s love, we should strive for divine intimacy every day. And we can only achieve it when we search for the heart of God and when we give Him ours — in all its suffering, in all its happiness, and everything in between. 

Just as we could never build a strong relationship with a friend if we never talked to her, and just as we would never be a good friend if we only sought her out to complain about our problems, so it is with God. To grow in intimacy, we must grow both spiritually and emotionally. That journey is different for everyone, but we must keep a couple things in mind. 

Divine intimacy takes time, effort, and maybe a little trial and error. Not every spiritual action you take will resonate with you, excite you, or help you grow closer to God. There’s nothing wrong with that. Try something else. 

If you are a husband, wife, or a parent, it is your job to help your spouse and children reach heaven. To do this, you must lead by example. Teach every member of your family about God and help them develop their own intimate relationship with Him. If you’re single and have no kids, do this for your friends or extended family.  

The greatest way to evangelize is to live your faith openly and proudly. Others must see us putting forth the effort to strengthen our own faith. If we only attend Mass on Sundays (or on rare occasions), we are conveying to our families that God is merely an afterthought.  

Easy Ways to Build Divine Intimacy 

Just as there are many ways you can strengthen a relationship with a friend here on earth, there are many ways you can strengthen your relationship with God. 

Attendance at Mass every Sunday (or Saturday night) and on holy days is obligatory, but try adding a Mass on a weekday. Give yourself tangible reminders of God’s love and goodness by placing statues on your mantel, hanging a crucifix in every room, using a holy card as a bookmark, wearing a medal, or carrying a rosary with you. Not only do these things remind you that you are Catholic, but they remind you throughout the day to take a moment to pause and talk to God. 

Take action by reading Scripture or other good Catholic books. Visit Jesus in Adoration. Listen to faith-filled podcasts. Pray unceasingly. And teach your children to do all of these things. 

Creating divine intimacy is crucial if we hope to experience a foretaste of heaven here on earth. Inviting God into our hearts and accepting His invitation to know Him will lead to joys you couldn’t even imagine. Without Him, life is empty.  

So silence the world around you and listen. Jesus is knocking at the door of your heart. He wants you to let Him in. Will you? 

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Copyright 2025 Susan Ciancio
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