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Lisa Henley Jones shares conversation starters she and her husband use on their date nights.


I’m a firm believer that married couples must continue to “woo” and date each other to keep their marriage strong. Several years ago, my husband and I made the intentional decision to go on semi-regular date nights because we felt our focus on our marriage sometimes drifting in the middle of our busy family life and work stress. In the beginning of our renewed dating, we found it surprising that once we got alone together, we found conversation sometimes difficult. We fell into the regular pattern of discussing our day, work, kids, and schedules, which are hardly the best topics for date night conversations.

We needed to get to a point where we could really “talk” – meaning share our thoughts, hopes, dreams, vulnerabilities, or concerns and laugh, joke, and relax as well. You know, deep stuff, stuff that you’re supposed to share with your spouse in an ideal world. The stuff you talked about when you were dating or newly married but that sometimes gets pushed to the side in family life.

It sounds so simple. Afterall, we’ve been married over 20 years. We know how to talk to each other, but we were seriously out of practice. Add in the pressure to get the date “right” and it can make conversation that much more difficult. What we needed was a transition conversation to ease out of real life and into the deep stuff.

We started by giving ourselves the first little bit of a date to get the schedules, kid stuff, and work talk out of the way. Go ahead, we haven’t seen each other most of the day, so we talk about those things for a little bit, but then move on to focus on us as a couple. We did that by having a few potential fun or thought-provoking questions to help us transition into date conversation.  

 

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Here are our top 20 questions to use on date nights.

 

When it comes to things that make you happy, what five things would you rank at the very top?

What is one seemingly impossible goal that you would like to see the world achieve during your lifetime?

In your opinion, what is the most important thing your kids have taught you to this point?

If someone gave you $1,000, in the form of ten $100 bills, and told you that you HAD to give it all away in twenty-four hours, to whom would you give the money?

What aspect of being a kid do you miss the most?

What food could you not live without?

What is your most embarrassing moment?

What would you take on a deserted island?

Who would you pick to play you in a movie?

What are three items on your bucket list?

Who was your favorite teacher in school?

What is your favorite movie or book?

What is one hobby you’d like to try?

What’s your ideal vacation?

Describe a “perfect” day for you?

What do you look forward to the most about the next 5 years?

If you could meet any person, who would you meet and why?

What was the best thing about your childhood?

What is your favorite season?

Name a highlight in your day?

 

We don’t ask ALL these questions on one date, but we might pick a few for the situation or how we feel that day. Some dates we go through several questions, but other times it only takes one to spark a tangent that leads to a good spontaneous conversation. Not only do the questions lighten our moods and take the pressure off, but we’ve learned new things about each other, even after all these years.

What fun question would you add to the list of date night conversation starters?

Learn new things about your husband: 20 questions to use on date nights. #catholicmom

 

Download and print these questions for your next date night

 


Copyright 2022 Lisa Henley Jones
Images: Canva