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Helen Syski looks to the Psalms to un-stopper her prayer. 


Overflowing emotions

Big emotions come with little people. And medium-sized, and big people!   

As I accompanied my child through a painful episode, I heard the anger and bitterness well up and overflow. It made my heart constrict. I found myself overwhelmed with unhelpful ideas about forgiving our enemies, turning the other cheek, seeing the good in others … and my own anger and hurt and vengeful thoughts.  

But the former stuffed the latter, and rather than clarity, rather than an honest flow of emotions, things became suffocatingly fluffy.    

Those hurt eyes seared into me with the hatred and pain and injustice … Holy Spirit, You speak! 

A few days later, in reading Psalm 71, I found myself face to face with those eyes yet again. “Bring to a shameful end those who attack me; Cover with contempt and scorn those who seek my ruin” (Psalm 71:13).  

Yet it is between declarations of faith, loyalty and surrender. “You are my hope, Lord; my trust, GOD, from my youth,” (Psalm 71:5) and “Whatever bitter afflictions you sent me, you would turn and revive me. From the watery depths of the earth once more raise me up. Restore my honor; turn and comfort me” (Psalm 71:20-21).  

 

Psalms: prayers of honesty

The Psalms teach us a cyclical prayer that brings full honesty to the Lord. The laments, the cry for vengeful justice, the declarations of faithfulness and trust in God are each one after the other; the psalmists do not speak all at the same time.  They teach us to pour out our hearts — including the filth and hurt — to God like a stream of water.    

If we pray with caveats, we are trying to pour it all at the same time. It is like trying to pour a pitcher whose water is frozen solid. Removing our emotions makes our hearts cold; nothing comes out.  

 

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Sometimes our competing thoughts instead become like children competing to be first out of the car. There is a lot of upset, but no one actually exits the vehicle. Meanwhile, the emotional temperature in the car skyrockets!   

Similarly, for our hearts to be cleansed by our prayer, speak one thought or feeling, one after another, for the pouring out to be complete. When you let each one out in turn to Jesus, He receives each with love, and you will find at the bottom of your heart the knowledge of the Lord you need to stand on. He is there whether you feel wrapped in a warm trust, a freeing surrender, or the hard rock of Saint Peter’s “To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). 

What the psalmists understood is that prayer changes us, not God. Cyclical prayer pours us out, bringing us out of our spiraling journey to land on our unchanging God. We land on His promises, His faithfulness, and His ever-loving will. 

 

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Copyright 2024 Helen Syski
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