Don't Wish the Days Away

Emily Jaminet offers encouragement for moms who feel stuck in the trap of waiting for the next phase of parenting.

It's easy for mothers to fall into the trap of just waiting for the next phase. We might wish away sleepless nights or daydream about milestones like when our child can talk, walk, be potty-trained, read, ride a bike, buckle themselves in, or drive to school. The list is endless. 

As a mother of seven, I’ve recently been reflecting on my past “golden years of motherhood,” when our lives revolved around a napping child or simply keeping everyone safe. I often describe this stage as being “in the thick of motherhood.” These years are filled with deep, piercing memories that I’ll treasure forever — and other times it was nothing but a blur. Here are some important lessons I’ve learned over the years that help me live fully in the present. 

Ponder in your heart

Learn the art of pondering and pause before speaking — especially about your children. In today’s fast-paced world, this is almost a lost art as we tend to process and post everything instantly. 

Luke's Gospel tells us how Mary, the Blessed Mother, "kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart" (Luke 2:19). She can be our role model, showing us how to ponder the glorious, sorrowful, joyful, and challenging moments of life. As Catholic mothers we need to learn how to hold these moments in our heart to ponder and pray over them to the Lord. Later, these memories will become the treasures you reflect upon for the rest of your life. For example, the smiles of a child can warm your heart years later if you’re willing to ponder and take a snapshot with your heart, not your phone.  

Reflect on the ordinary blessings, and remember: "There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Be a person of virtue and prayer, capturing the joy and peace that come with motherhood. Pondering also fosters a true spirit of gratitude. 

Reach out to others

When life feels overwhelming, try stepping outside of yourself by connecting with others! This isn’t a guilt trip but a tried-and-true way to gain a fresh perspective. Saint Paul encourages us, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).  

Remember how the Blessed Mother went to serve Elizabeth when they were both expecting little ones? We need to turn to our sisters in Christ, celebrating, consoling, and helping each other through the joys and challenges of life.  

The vine and the branches

Stay connected to the sacraments and nourish yourself spiritually. Looking back, I can see the times when I was spiritually undernourished. I struggled when I neglected routines, prayer times, and the graces of being connected to the Church. Jesus says,  

“I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)  

Staying connected to Christ through the Sacraments and prayer gives us the strength we need as mothers. Passing on the faith can be challenging at times. To be honest, Sunday mornings were often the hardest part of my week for many years! Getting the kids dressed, fed, and ready for Mass, then enduring the hour with a pew full of little ones was hard. I can still remember the exhaustion of holding a heavy toddler or the anxiety of judgment when a child acted up. 

Create a life rooted in prayer and stay connected to the vine. Remember Jesus' words: 

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14) 

Don’t wait to bring your children to Mass until they are older. Over time, you’ll start to see progress and growth in your little ones, even if it feels slow at first. 

Say thank you to God! 

“I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me” (Philippians 4:13). Remember, it’s Christ who strengthens us to do all things. Jesus tells us,  

"Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me." (John 15:4) 

 When we succeed, let’s not pretend we’re perfect moms, but give God the credit. Offering little “Thank you, Jesus” prayers throughout the day reminds us, our children, and our spouses that Jesus is the source of our strength, peace, and joy. Without Him, we are lacking. 

Children are a true gift

Children are a glorious gift from God, and we, as parents and adults, need to cherish them. We can do this by praying for our children and offering encouragement and support to others especially those in need! Lastly, hold this verse close to your heart: "Children are a gift from the Lord" (Psalm 127: 3 NLT). If you are struggling in a difficult season, recall, “this too shall pass” so embrace the moment with inner peace and joy!  

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Copyright 2024 Emily Jaminet
Images: Canva