Easter Is Here: Why Am I Still Suffering?

Amelia Bentrup reflects on the sorrows involved in life and motherhood and offers comfort to those dealing with personal pain and hardship.

Life is short and full of misery (St. Zélie Martin, Letter 72)

Lent, for this year, is over. We are now in the Easter Season, liturgically speaking. Yet, for many of us, our personal Lents may be far from over. Amongst the people I know, this past Lent has been particularly Lent-like. I’ve had multiple friends and acquaintances dealing with cancer diagnoses or the death of close family members. Our own family has dealt with a broken bone and painful surgery and recovery along with some chronic pain issues.

I am reminded of the above quote from St. Zélie Martin. “Life is short and full of misery.” Is that not the truth? And while it seems like a rather downer of a quote to write about during the Easter Season, I actually find this quote to be quite hopeful. When St. Zélie said this, she was reflecting on the loss of her young children, and yet she was still able to see God’s grace through her pain.

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One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn as a mom is that life is not supposed to be easy. No one promised us an easy life, a comfortable life. Our society nowadays is so focused on comfort and ease. We have air conditioning and heat, so we never have to be too hot or too cold. We have smart homes, so we don’t even have to even get up to turn on a light switch or lock a door. We heat up our cars before we get into them and always have snacks available so as not to ever have to feel a hunger pang.

Yet at its very core, life is hard and full of toil and trouble. There will be work and sweat and tears. There will be hunger and sorrow and emptiness and loneliness. I think that is what separates saints from the rest of us. While I tend to run from trouble and pain and discomfort, so many of the saints ran toward it. They embraced sorrow and difficulty knowing that they could unite their sufferings to Jesus and grow ever closer to Him.

One of the hardest truths to swallow about life is that it is painful, yet it is through that pain that growth occurs. Nowhere is this more evident than in motherhood. Motherhood is all about suffering. From the first twinges of morning sickness, back aches during pregnancy, pains of childbirth, and then sleepless nights, tantruming toddlers, rebellious teens, young adults who leave the nest and fly off on their own, the suffering of a mother is ever present. Sometimes motherhood is easier and sometimes its pains are felt more acutely, but suffering is always there. We give up our bodies and our hearts for our children.

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The older I get, the more I realize that the key to happiness is to embrace the difficult and the hard. In fact, the only way to happiness and joy is through pain and suffering. It is when we overcome what is hard that we find freedom and joy. That doesn’t mean we don’t feel emotions or pain and can’t complain a little. But it does mean that we stop running from the difficult and start leaning into it and trusting in God. Because hard times and troubles will come, yet we can choose how to react. Accepting hardship is, well, hard, but it actually makes the hardship easier to bear.

So, I find it is very hopeful to realize that life is hard, that it IS short and full of misery. I write this to offer comfort and consolation to those who may not be feeling so Easter-y. While we all rejoice in the Resurrection and Lent is over, maybe your personal trials are not. We can take hope in the Resurrection. Jesus overcame death—and someday, so will we. Our present suffering and toils will lead to eternal happiness in Heaven. My prayers are with you.

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