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Tami Urcia finds herself challenged to speak as kindly to her family as she does to her guests.

This past weekend we were blessed to have a houseguest. A close friend from down south came to visit. While he was here, we drove around quite a bit, ate some good food, and visited my parents. My brother and his family were also there, and my niece and I got to talking about how differently we treat different people. She had felt the need to apologize for speaking somewhat harshly to me the week before because she thought I was one of her siblings. So I asked her somewhat sarcastically, “Ah, so you’re saying that’s the way you talk to your siblings?”

And then it was like the wind came back to slap me in the face as I thought about how we were entertaining our houseguest. Why is that I talk nicer to those who are visitors, and not necessarily those I share the same roof with? Why is it that I have more patience with my kids and speak more gently to them when someone else is around? Am I using the guise of hospitality? Am I trying to keep up appearances out of pride? Why DO I raise my voice with my kids so often anyway?

Psalm 5 calls me to invoke my God:

Give ear to my words, O LORD; understand my sighing.
Attend to the sound of my cry, my king and my God!
For to you I will pray, LORD; in the morning you will hear my voice;
in the morning I will plead before you and wait.
You are not a god who delights in evil;
no wicked person finds refuge with you;
the arrogant cannot stand before your eyes.
You hate all who do evil;
you destroy those who speak falsely. (Psalm 5:2-7a)


By speaking differently to different people, am I really speaking falsehood? Am I being arrogant in your sight? If I desire to show hospitality to one person, why should I not want to show it to all, especially my own flesh and blood, those who I have conceived and birthed? I have got to stop the hypocrisy. But more earnestly, I have got to start treating those I love with more love.

May the Lord bless us and keep us this day. May He show us the way. May He steer our hearts, minds, words and actions. May He continue to send us little reminders, like the conversation with my niece, to make us think and redirect our path to conform more to His. Amen.

I have got to start treating those I love with more love. #catholicmom

Copyright 2020 Tami Urcia
Image: Pixabay (2015)