Extraordinary Ordinary Love

Caitlan Rangel reflects on how our ordinary days are the practice field for heroic virtue. 

One recent morning, my mind chattered away with insecurity and worry. I felt like I was in a fog, and if I had my way, I would have said, “Bye, kids, I’ll be back later. Mommy’s going on a leisurely walk alone!”  

But, alas, I homeschool and all of my children are nine and under, so that was absolutely not a possibility.  

On this morning, I felt like my children were calling me to move out of myself in an extra sort of way. As in, they really needed me. Or, maybe, I was just really feeling it. 

Have You Ever Been Asked to Give When You Felt You Had Nothing Left?

Perhaps you’ve had a similar experience — wanting to move inward in order to self-protect, defend, or armor up against someone or something (even a someone who is precious to you, like a spouse, child, or friend). But that someone or something asks you instead to open, to give just a little more, to stretch and strengthen that muscle of learning to love. 

That morning, as I struggled to be pleasant to my children in their need, one of my children asked for something and I thought to myself, “Caitlan, smile at your child.”

I did, but boy, was it hard.  

Actually, it felt heroic to smile and be kind, when all I wanted to do was to have a few minutes to myself.  

Sometimes Love is Heroic

Thanks be to God I know myself well enough to have said, “Everyone, get your shoes on; we’re going outside.” With the sun on my back and my children at play, this occurred to me: Sometimes loving in the most ordinary moments is extraordinary. It feels like a heroic feat, because sometimes it is.  

Because we have a propensity toward sin and selfishness, and have chirpy egos, it truly can be difficult to smile at our children or spouse, friend or co-worker. We can forget to be polite with “please” and “thank you” and “I appreciate you” to those closest to us. Being faithful to mundane things that keep us balanced and whole — like family dinners, praying (alone and as a family), setting aside time for rest/leisure, being committed to moving our bodies, being disciplined in our work — is challenging!   

The ordinary is a practice field for heroic virtue.  

The Catechism of the Catholic Church speaks of virtue in this way:  

A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions. (CCC 1803) 

We want to be people of character and virtue: to be generous, charitable, wise, empathetic, honest, just, and courageous. We look at our heroes and saints and see the end product. But most of their days were filled with ordinary choices: to smile or not, to be generous or not, to be truthful or not, to be faithful or not.  

Wherever you are, wherever I am, we have the opportunity to pursue and choose the good in our concrete actions.   

God, give us the grace to do so — we trust you will! 

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Copyright 2025 Caitlan Rangel
Images: Canva