Grieving a dear friend who died this past year, Pam Spano finds comfort in old photos on Facebook.
From January through the first weekend of May of this year, six people I knew died. It was mind numbing for the families as well as the friends.
Some of the families were able to have a small wake and funeral. Others have a memorial pending.
The last death in May was of a close friend. Those arrangements will hopefully take place next year. In the meantime, I eagerly await each day's Facebook memories to see a glimpse of her.
My friend and I enjoyed being tourists in a city we both grew up in. We would eagerly plan an outing that included breakfast or lunch at an untried restaurant or a favorite. We were always searching for the perfect “Bennies” (Eggs Benedict).
We would go somewhere we had never been or back to a place we had visited often. I always took photos and posted them on Facebook tagging her. Little did I realize that in a few years, I would anticipate seeing those photos in my Facebook memories during a pandemic without her.
My friend grew up Catholic, but changed her beliefs. We would talk about that during many of our conversations. She joked how she still remembered all the prayers like the Our Father and Hail Mary.
When her husband died, she had Mass said for him. She attended that Mass (and a few others with me and my family). She said it gave her peace and because her husband was raised Catholic, she knew he would have been happy about that. She felt she had done something special for him.
When life got tough for her, she would ask me to pray for her, which I did. Despite setbacks and challenges, she would grieve for a period of time and then come back with a positive attitude.
I miss our phone calls. I kept her voicemails so I can hear her voice if I want to.
Most of all, I miss laughing with her. We laughed a lot.
As the pandemic goes on and a contentious election approaches, I’ve avoided my news feed on Facebook. My soul and my blood pressure are more important to me than the constant cacophony of opinions that demand to be heard and insist they are right.
Instead, every morning I go to my Facebook Memories looking for the face of a dear friend who made me laugh and pray with a renewed spirit.
Eternal rest grant unto her,
O Lord, and let perpetual light
shine upon her. May the souls
of all the faithful departed, through
the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Copyright 2020 Pam Spano
Image copyright 2020 Pam Spano. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Pam Spano converted to the Catholic faith as an adult over 30 years ago. Her conversion story started when she sarcastically said to her Catholic boyfriend at the time, "I suppose if we were to get married, you would want me to convert." He thought for a moment and said, "Well, I am worried about your soul." And so the journey began ...