Faithful Friends and Sturdy Shelters

Drawing from examples in Scripture, Tina Mayeux reflects on the importance of holy friendships in our lives and helping our children find them as well.  

As mothers, an important part of our duty is to teach our children about healthy relationships. From the earliest years, they are observing and imitating our actions and interactions with each other as a family and among our friends and acquaintances. We model for them how to seek out and holy friendships, and by our example, our children learn to be a good friend to others.  

What does Scripture say about friendship?

The Old Testament book of Sirach beautifully describes the importance of finding good and holy friends:  

Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price, no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; those who fear God will find them. (Sirach 6:14-16) 

Friendships were important to Jesus as well. During His ministry on earth preaching and healing, Jesus did not carry out His mission alone, but rather, He was surrounded by the apostles, twelve of his closest friends and faithful followers. Despite His divine nature, He still desired connection and fellowship with others. Jesus shows us that holy friendships are crucial for our spiritual and psychological well-being.  

When our children were 11, 10, and 7, we moved to a new city two states away due to a job change. Uprooting our family forced our children (and us) to meet new people and make new friends. The experience was a challenge at first, but putting down roots in the fresh soil of our new state has yielded the blessing of so many rich experiences and wonderful friendships. It has been a joy to witness our children grow and blossom and to see them experience the joy of holy friendships.  

In an imperfect world, we at times face broken friendships and relationships. Even among the circle of apostles surrounding Jesus, there emerged the unfaithful Judas, who betrayed the most loving and perfect of friends with a kiss. How do we teach our children to find good and faithful friendships and help them when they encounter false friends who hurt and betray them? How, also, do we encourage them to be that loyal and generous friend to others? 

Step Out in Love 

Teaching and modeling love, to our children is certainly the best way to help them develop healthy and holy friendships. Of the virtues, Saint Paul assures us that “the greatest of these is love.” When we live according to the law of love by serving our families and others generously, our children will observe and imitate our actions. 1 Corinthians 13 gives a magnificent description of how we should practice love toward others: 

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) 

The friends of the paralytic in Mark’s Gospel (Mark 2:1-12) set a beautiful example of the lengths to which loving friendship will go. When the crowds prevented the paralytic from accessing Jesus, these faithful friends audaciously lowered the paralytic through an opening in the roof so he could be seen and healed. Showing our children how to step out in love and charity and serve others around us, especially those in need, is an excellent way to demonstrate that to have a friend, we must be a friend.  

Forgive and Be Forgiven  

When my daughter was once left out of a gathering of her peers, it was painful for her, but she handled the rebuff with grace and humility. Rather than becoming angry, she accepted the situation and responded to her friends with empathy and forgiveness. By refraining from harsh words or actions, she was able to preserve the friendships, which have endured the test of time.  

It is not always easy to forgive others when they hurt us or even betray or abandon us. If a friendship is important to us, however, we will always forgive and ask forgiveness and repair any rifts when they occur. 

Seek Wisdom in Scripture 

We know that we can turn to scripture, the inspired Word of God, for encouragement and wisdom in any situation. Sirach 6:5-17 is a collection of helpful admonitions regarding true friendship that encourages us to be cautious in our dealings with others and select our friends carefully. Reading and reflecting upon it can help deepen our understanding of how to be a good friend and help our children do the same. 

The beautiful words from the Book of Sirach and other examples referenced above are just a sampling of the treasures found within the pages of our Bibles that can help us in our relationships with others. Through prayer and reflection on the Word of God, we are inspired to nurture holy friendships that will help us to grow in faith and follow Jesus more closely.  

Pleasant speech multiplies friends, and gracious lips, friendly greetings. Let those who are friendly to you be many, but one in a thousand your confidant. (Sirach 6:5-6) 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2025 Tina Mayeux
Images: Canva