For the Stay-at-Home Mom: Lightening Up When You’re Feeling Burdened

Christine Hanus shares 6 strategies overwhelmed moms can use to make the load seem lighter.

Years ago, babysitting for my friend Beth, I experienced a day that typified the neediness of children and what it can be like to care for them. Glad to give my friend a much-needed break, my task was to watch her three young children along with my own sons, who were then four, three, and 6 months old.

When I arrived at 9:30 that morning, Beth assured me baby Isaac would keep napping for at least an hour. She also said she would come back and get the baby if needed, since he was not at ease with people he did not know well. She pulled out of the driveway at 9:35 and her baby woke up crying at 9:36. At 9:39 I began suspecting it was going to be a very long day.

As the morning progressed, Isaac, although he wouldn’t let me put him down, started crying every time he looked at my face. Children seemed to be everywhere with various and sundry needs that I hastened, baby on hip, to meet.

Soon I developed a strange pain in the left side of my head, and it would give such an intense throb every so often I decided to review 911 skills with the kids. In the meantime, one of Beth’s sons kept insisting I could pitch him a baseball while holding Isaac, and my own somewhat neglected little one was accidentally deluged with lukewarm tea.

Soon, I called my friend to come get her baby. I felt like a wimp and yet found myself quite able to live with that feeling.

After Beth left the house again, her 6-year-old son challenged me to a game of hockey on their game system. After five minutes of playing, the score was 12 to 0. Delighted, he announced, “I’m smashing you!” I discovered that day that there is no activity I like less than playing video games.

(Incidentally, my 4-year-old begged to have a turn, and I let him take my place thinking it would be too difficult for him since he had never played a video game. He quickly scored a goal just by hitting buttons at random.)

At lunch time, a hungry crew of youngsters waited while I pried open a container from the refrigerator in a vain search for bologna, propelling taco meat across the room. No sooner had I cleaned this up than my supposedly potty trained 3-year-old peed on Beth’s couch, leaving a clearly discernable wet area.

Finally, after we had played a rigorous game of baseball in the dusty backyard, the sun and fierce wind sapping the life out of me, Beth came home. I was truly thrilled.

In the living room, I whisked my cranky baby into his car seat and reached into my pocket for the car keys. They weren’t there. As my infant’s fussing grew louder, I fruitlessly searched my diaper bag, then dashed into the kitchen hoping I’d find them on the counter, but to no avail. My head gave a great throb as I began frantically looking under cushions, in jacket pockets, and eventually in the Lego bin.

The baby was truly crying now. My other sons squabbled loudly over a toy with their friend.

As I crawled on the floor, peering under the furniture, Beth’s 6-year-old addressed me:

“Where does a sheep go to get his hair cut?” Feeling unable to cope, I looked at Beth for help.

“Oh, this is a good one,” she said.

“I … I … don’t know,” I stammered.

“A baa-baa shop!” he said triumphantly, his innocent face beaming.

Several jokes later, utterly defeated, I accepted my friend’s generous offer to drive us all home. (Yes, the keys were in the bottom-less diaper bag the whole time.)

Being a Stay-at Home Mom Has Its Challenges

I thought this was an amusing story, but it also highlights the fact that it is not easy to meet the needs of children and a household day after day, year after year. Often homemaking and child-rearing involve tedious duties, and it can be hard to see their value. There are days we can’t even express to others what we have accomplished with our day, but we are exhausted and the sink is still full of dishes.

Though not everyone struggles with their vocation as a stay-at-home mom, some do. While I was, in many ways, thrilled to be a stay-at-home mom, I was surprised that certain aspects of my life made me less happy and fulfilled than I had imagined I would be.

Whenever we find ourselves burdened by our vocation, it is time to be proactive!

Renew Your Mind and Lighten Up

Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

Here are a few ways a stay-at-home mom can renew her mind:

Fess up.

Admit you sometimes don’t like your “job.” Maybe you’re one of those people who finds being a stay-at-home mom difficult. That’s okay.

Study up.

Frequently think about the reasons you have chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. Don’t just skim a blog post on the subject, but soak in the reality of what it means to be a wife and mother. Our world is so focused on paycheck, prestige, and power, we can easily forget that we are creating a home, not to mention forming and shaping persons with eternal destinies.

Look up.

Pray and frequent the sacraments so you can discern what God is calling you to on a day-by-day basis and receive the supernatural strength and desire to do it. We can do nothing good apart from God.

Link up.

Don’t try to fly solo — you need fellowship. Try finding an older woman who has been a stay-at-home mom and is a good listener and encourager.

Change up.

Ask God if there is something that you need to change in your family life. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut, unable to see the practical ways we can make our households, and ourselves, a little less crazy.

Brighten up.

Finally, cultivate a sense of humor! Smile more. Some people are naturally light-hearted, and it is easy for them to keep on the sunny side of life, but perhaps you need to foster light-heartedness.

No life is perfect, so let’s chase God’s will with abandon and not allow ourselves to be reluctant to give our children and our home our time and attention. Believe me, the day will come when you will more completely understand the impact of your valuable vocation.

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Copyright 2026 Christine Hanus
Images: Canva