Getting Out of God’s Way

Maura Gentry reflects on radical trust in God’s plan … on His terms rather than her own.

The other day, while changing my one-year-old’s diaper, I couldn’t get him to stop kicking his legs. He wasn’t fighting me. In the beginning, he was just being silly. But, as I persisted in my efforts to put cream on a fresh rash, he became increasingly frustrated. Soon, white goop was everywhere, and tears were threatening to spill down the sides of his face.

Though a few short months ago the struggle would have rattled me, that day I managed to stay calm. His frustration was largely of his own making because he didn’t know what was coming afterward (a snack). But I did. As I picked him up and carried him to the kitchen, I wondered: is this what I do to the Lord?

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I can imagine that there have been many times in my life in which He has been working for my good, only for me to thwart the easier method of delivery. What would happen if I fully trusted in His promises?

Taking the Leap to Trust

At the beginning of this year, my husband, son, and I moved into a converted garage apartment in the most expensive area of the country, with my husband’s graduate student salary as our main source of income. Quite the leap of faith, if I do say so myself. As the moving boxes have been broken down, though, the close quarters have begun to feel less cozy and more … claustrophobic, shall we say. We are only here for a year, though, and you can do anything for a year. Or so we’ve said thus far. The Lord has a way of testing such declarations, though.

To distract from our current challenges, I’ve been doing a lot of dreaming. We moved with the radical trust that this was where God wanted us this year, and we haven’t felt anything but peace about the decision. But I’ve begun to pat myself on the back, to feel that I am owed something in return for all this high-quality trusting I’ve been doing. I’ve been motivating myself with it, too. Here’s how He’s going to reward us for our sacrifices, I think. I have become quick to take the leap and loath to let Him decide when to pull the parachute.

Stepping Aside

There are two parts to trusting someone, I have learned. First, you must believe in what they say. In my experience, this part is easy. I believe that the Lord wants what is best for me. My son believes that I want what is best for him. But then, to truly trust, you have to get out of the way and let them show you.

When I change his diaper, my son knows that he is being cared for, but he doesn’t always want to wait patiently as I do it. Whereas I see the situation in its entirety, he can only focus on the immediate: I have delayed him getting what he wants. In the long run, he’ll be much happier playing with a clean diaper, but it does cause him an inconvenience in the moment. By fussing about it, though, he further prolongs his reward.

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How often am I getting in God’s way with my impatience? Telling Him I trust Him, only to fail to let Him act in my life? I often reject His grace when His methods don't match up with my vision. What would happen if I let Him lead? May I remember when I am focusing on the immediate that He has the fullness of time in view.

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