Gratitude Adjustment

Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. OSB, shares how a simple way of documenting the kind words of loved ones can be a balm to the soul.

The chemical changes that physiologically accompany aging enhanced a condition that was a mild annoyance through adult life; depression had become more episodic as I aged.

Depression is one of the devil’s easiest access points to deteriorate faith and nudge us towards hopelessness and futility. He makes us believe that all is lost and there is no way out of whatever we are in.

The battle is very, very real, and at the time of greatest suffering he instills the thought that it is unrelenting; for those with clinical depression it is an ongoing condition where intensity only varies.

There are plenty of medications, nutritional recommendations, exercise regiments, and various other self-help options all important to diminishing depressions hold. But … when in the throes of darkness, self-care is often beyond consideration when struggling to simply take the next breath.

And when I feel myself inching towards THAT point I reach for my Gratitude Adjustment binder.

Several years ago during confession with a priest who, understanding mental health issues and the guilt or shame produced by real or perceived sins, gave a penance of to watch for kind words or actions from others—compliments or words of thanks.

I’m not inclined to write in a journal, and yet gathering up emails, notes, and cards, or jotting down words spoken with the date and donor’s name, bolstered optimism. With that self-knowledge, and prayers to the Holy Spirit for guidance, the Gratitude Adjustment binder was created.

It’s a simple project made with a three-ring binder and multiple clear plastic pocket sleeves. It need not be fancy; mine is a white binder that began with only five sleeves. We all get those little notes of gratitude, blessings, and sometimes encouragement; my grandmother saved hers in grandfather’s cigar boxes.

This simple act of saving kind words when they come in is that when depression is too intense for self-soothing and care, perusing the pages eases the suffering by diversion.

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This simple act of saving kind words when they come in is that when depression is too intense for self-soothing and care, perusing the pages eases the suffering by diversion. #catholicmom

Each item tucked within the plastic pages carries words of mercy and comfort prompted by the Holy Spirit and, who knows, maybe spurred on by the Holy Spirit years ago for just this depressive event.

I’ve found that randomly opening the notebook—now containing over 30 pockets—and reading the words displaces the depressive darkness. I’ll recall the person who wrote that note and why, and offer a shooter-prayer in gratitude for their blessing.

I may only flip though a couple pages before feeling more stable, but then again I have spent an hour or more with it in my lap until the depressive tears are spent and a deep breath is attained.

It’s a small bright buoy to guide us when traversing a stormy sea, even if depression is not something you must navigate. I pray that you will begin a personal Gratitude Adjustment binder and be able to recognize the comfort in words that otherwise tossed aside may have been forgotten over time.

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